Not The Princess Type
by Strange Bint
Summary: Faith and Spike are in a little town in Maine for an interesting reason, but there's no way the town could be interesting. Emma is really sick of tourists. She especially doesn't trust these two. Regina doesn't either, but Ruby and Henry do. After everything on Buffy & Angel and then some and sometime after Mary-Margret kills Cora.
1. Chapter 1

_Note: My first real Cross-over so I hope it's decent, and I also hope if you are reading this you are at least 14. Maybe there's hints to where my huge Spike/Faith fic is headed. I've always been a Buffy and Angel writer, but I promise I will do the Once Upon a Time characters justice._

"You sure about this?" Faith said as she looked icily at William Pratt.

The sun was shooting its way through the holes in tinted windows of the old school RV they were in. Those holes in the tint reminded Faith of bullet holes that could shoot you out of hiding. Maybe that was why she felt comfortable loading her gun.

"You can stop asking that anytime," Pratt sighed, "I'd do anything for the woman I love."

Faith knew he was rolling his eyes along with that Brit accent, and he was looking at her like she was some cold chick with issues. She spun her gun chamber felt her brow furrow.

"This ain't no life and death, champ. This is a day at the freakin' beach, literally. Maybe some Meg Ryan movie scenes with the woman you love isn't worth the risk of whatever the hell is out there. Maybe the woman you love is way too much of a bitch for this," she said.

She only looked straight ahead trying to see if she could see anything suspicious through the tinted windows. So far she just saw woods and…She felt something grab her armed arm hard and pull her. Her body stiffened before she could help it. Of course it was him- Pratt. He was gonna get all male ego busted about the shit she was talking. She rolled her eyes as he twisted her quickly towards him- to him. Faith knew she would just look like some kid trying to be tuff if she didn't look at him. She was getting too old to play that part. So she did look at him.

"Listen, bitch," he said

His thin bowed upper lip twisted while his full lower lip jutted. His blue eyes blared over his ridiculously high super model cheek-bones. Good for him he had that long Brit lean nose and that angry jutting chin or he'd look too fake. He was slowly phasing the bleach blonde out of his hair. His Billy Idol punk rock blond statement was now only at the ends of his curled hair that was on the top of his head. The sides were short and brown. These days the bleach didn't do punk as much justice anymore. Neither did cigarettes. So, these days he just smelled like something baked and sweet along with something salty and deadly. Still it was hard to say goodbye to peroxide and cigs.

"I could put up with all your grousing for the ride. But, now were here, and you aren't gonna ruin this. Not after all we've been through to get here. The risk is small. Do you really think we're gonna be taken down by a pixie or cricket or a talking mouse? You're getting soft in you're old age."

She heard a small crack and felt his face and realized she smacked him with her unarmed hand. Holy shit!

"Wow, I haven't done that in a while," she tried to smile.

She looked down. So, this is who she'd always really be? A person who hurt the people that meant something to her. Some twisted teen in a 32 year old body.

"No," he said, "You really haven't. Felt good. I haven't called you a bitch in a while either. I know it's all for a good cause but, being so vanilla, it does get to be a bit trying. That's why we go on vacation in the sun to melt the vanilla off."

"You're fuckin' twisted. You know that, right?" she did smiled.

"Well, yeah. I'm 150 years old and I've only had a soul for 36 of those years on and off."

He opened the RV door and the sun came pouring into the car and he jumped out.

"Spike!" she gasped and jumped out after him with her gun.

She saw him standing there with his arms out breathing in the air, like he needed it. The gray barked trees around them had some tiny green buds on them. There were birds chirping and crows squawking. There were no huge trolls or fire breathing dragons or red-eyed rats.

"By the by, the woman I love is much more of a bitch than Meg Ryan or even Sandra Bullock, thank god! Never woulda fell for her otherwise, you know."

"You freakin' moron! What if we had been wrong? What this bumble-fuck town didn't have magik in it?"

Now she was the one spinning him around to face her by grabbing the denim arm of his jean jacket.

"Were you gonna shoot at the sun in that case?" he smirked, "Can't you feel the magik? Oh, right. You can't. You're a Slayer who's just all brute force."

"You can feel the freakin' magik? That doesn't mean it was safe. The Storybend sun still coulda burned you to a dust pile. You're still a vampire, Spike, and, yeah, I'm still a vampire Slayer and I'll show you brute force."

"Promise?" he tilted his head and cocked his eye-brow, "Just put the gun down, love. It's not gonna be much help. I respond better to the force of flesh."

Faith dropped the gun and ran at him. She jumped on Spike; into his arms. She smiled as he held her and spun her around. And yeah she giggled. She met his lips even as she laughed and smiled and then their lips gathered up into kissing.

"It's a'right, baby," he said after his lips smacked away from hers, "It's gonna be nothing but fun. I promise."

"Don't promise. Whenever you promise something it always kinda happens, but you always end up hurt or possessed or dead again," she reminded, "I don't need you dead again here in the middle of nowhere Storybend, Spike. I mean it, dude."

He kissed her again this time deeply, and she moaned and felt the floodgates open.

"Storybrooke," he said in a whisper as they tumbled to the ground.

"Huh?" she said opening his pants.

"The town's called Storybook."

"Whatever. We just gotta be a little careful, a'right? There's something powerful here, someone, it's not just Disneyland, Spike."

"How does it feel?" she asked as the important parts of him were exposed to the sun now.

"Damn good. Love it when you call me 'Spike.' It means you're being stern with me 'cause you're a worried mother hen."

He had his eyes closed as he leaned his head back on the tree as she touched his parts.

"I meant the sun and I'm a lot more than a mother hen, mother fucker," she laughed.

She wasn't gonna fall into the trap and say she usually called him "Spike."

"Mmm, you'd think it would bring back bad memories when you call me that one, but no. I only think of you, feel you. I love everything you call me 'cause I know what I am with you."

"You talk too much, Billy."

She straddled him for a ride in the middle of the sunlit woods. This was a first. She'd make an Edward and Bella joke if she wasn't so out of breath and already buzzing.

"Oh, there it is," he cried, "My fave—Oh—love you—"

"Love you too. So much."

It had taken her so long to say it. Too long. There was a time when she couldn't tell him. It wasn't safe to tell him- literally. There was a whole spell and everything. Now it should be easy. She should be able to tell him like it was nothing. But she still couldn't do that, because it was everything. Faith knew keeping everything wasn't easy. She knew it so much it made her eyes tear up whenever she told him.

"Oh, oh god, Faith," he cried, "Don't—don't—"

He always told her not to cry. She went at him harder. Faith wasn't gonna let this trip full into sentimental sap. She was NOT Bella Swan. She was Faith Lehane. She and her man were hard ass killers who didn't sparkle. They bled and burned and they couldn't forget that, not even on vacation. She could never pretend to be a princess because if she did that would bring her back to being an evil bitch. The worst thing she had ever done was try to be someone she was not.

"Shut-up!" she said and smacked Spike as she was on him, "I'm a bitch. This ain't no fairytale. I'm riding you like the beast you are and you're my man. Mine!"

He roared and rolled her over and went hard in the middle of the day outside. There was nothing to fear. Her man could throw down hard and let lose on her and not be burned for what he was. She loved what he was.

"You're the dark one, yeah. Always were!" he said over her with hissing breath.

And he loved what she was. Oh God! This was why they came here! Why she wanted to come here. Why she would come here! He pulled her hair pulling her head away when she tried to kiss him.

"Bad girl. Nasty thing. Evil girl," he said, "Stole me away from—Hello there, mate. You mind?"

Suddenly he stopped and started talking, really talking, not nasty sex talk.

"Why did you stop? That was fuc—"

That was fuckin' perfect! But, not anymore. There was a kid there. Some dark haired little nerdy perv staring at them. Faith was out from under Spike and doing up her pants. She made sure her black and white flannel was buttoned. There was a time when she would have just told the kid to get lost without missing a beat, literally. But, she had to keep up with this whole responsible adult thing.

"She's evil? Is that why you were fighting?" the kid asked.

Faith wondered if he was he autistic or something.

"No," Spike said, "Um, we weren't fighting. We were-"

"Henry!" a blond woman with kohl-rimmed dark eyes came bounding up, "I told you not to—Oh. Oh god! Henry, get away from them."

Even though Faith had done up her pants Spike hadn't and she was pretty sure there were still leaves in her hair. It was pretty obvious they were caught in the act.

"You know there's a town. People live here! Kids live here!"

The woman got in her face and was shielding her kid from Faith as if she was the one who had gotten in his space. Spike was actually smart and stepped in front of the gun that Faith left on the ground. That was freakin' stupid of her, but the last thing she expected here was kids or soccer moms.

"That's not what I thought," Faith said, "I thought were in the middle of the freakin' woods. In fact, I thought that's why we came out here. To be alone with no one asking us what we're doing."

"What were you doing?" the kid asked.

"Are you autistic or something?" Faith asked.

"He's not autistic! He's a kid! A kid who's never had to see some freaky slu—bimbo and her loser musician probably criminal boyfriend act like anima-"

The chick was sticking her finger in her face. Faith was about to snap it off when Spike said:

"She's not a slut or a bimbo. She's my wife and I'm not a bloody musician. Maybe we have a kid of our own for all you know, Mama Bear."

"I hope not," the woman scoffed.

"Why? Because we should all be like you? Sheltering so we make home-schooled freak?" Faith said, "This kid is how old and he doesn't know about the birds and the bees yet?"

"Yeah," Spike said, "When was the last time you've been out and about with the boy's father. Looks like you can use it."

"That's it!" the woman stammered, "Get out! I'm a cop, and if you nasty losers don't get out of here in five minutes—"

"Mom! That's an abuse of power, throwing these people out because of what he said," the kid said and then looked at Spike.

"I'm sorry. My mom is a little sensitive when it comes to my dad. They aren't married. He set her up to go to jail when she was pregnant with me, and now he's back and at first she lied to me about it."

Faith laughed. It was always these wound too-tight soccer moms who weren't what they seemed. If Faith just went by what she looked like she seemed a little too young and sexy to be a soccer mom with the salon silky long honey blond hair and the perfectly made up eyes and the professional yet Goth clothes. Come to find out she was a soccer mom cop who spent time in the clink. An ex-con cop soccer mom, couldn't get much worse than that. This was just the kind of thing Faith was trying to get away from.

"Henry!" the dye job snapped, "We don't know who these people are! You don't tell them anything let alone everything!"

"That's far from everything, mom," the kid said.

"There's more then your time in the clink _and _being a cop?" Faith said.

"I know. Just—just don't, okay? These people could be anyone," soccer mom said to her kid ignoring Faith, accept for the glare.

"Well, I'm Billy Pratt and this is my wife," Spike said.

"Faith…_Pratt_," she stressed her last name hard, rubbing it in the chick's face she was married.

"But, you can call me 'Spike,'" he said to the kid.

"You won't have to call him anything. We're just passing through," Faith said.

"Well, we'll be here for two weeks on vacation," Spike said.

"You came to Storybrooke for vacation? Why?" cop mom demanded.

"Why not?" Faith said, "You don't like our kind 'round these parts. Were too scary for the small town hick criminal turned Sheriff in these parts? So, you musta been in one of those Martha Stewart country club prisons where you didn't see much."

"Yeah, just like I'm a small town hick cop. Things around here aren't what you think. Maybe you'll be the one who gets scared," she said with arms folded.

"Is that a threat from a cop or an ex-con? How'd you manage the cop thing? Let me guess: Your daddy's police chief and you lived here all your life. You're not even an ex-con, you were framed by your baby-daddy. Why didn't your daddy get you out of that jam? Did he want to teach you a lesson?" Faith said.

The chick opened her mouth but Spike opened his faster.

"Now, honey," Spike drawled, "Behave. I apologize, Officer. She has a lot of job stress. S'why were on vacation. Had to put my foot down. Insist we take one. I was finally getting her to relax when-"

"Stay out of it, Spike!" Faith snapped.

"No 'Spike'," soccer mom cop drawled, "Maybe you should control your woman better. Put your foot down on her before I put mine up somewhere."

"You—" Faith began.

Spike grabbed her hand reminding her she couldn't let lose there was a kid there. Henry, that was his name. Poor kid. Any kid named Henry should be a Hank if they weren't asking for a beating.

"Why do people call you 'Spike?' Hank asked.

"Well, Hank—" Faith began.

She was entertaining the idea of telling him the whole story. That would really piss this chick off and blow her mind. Her kid was clearly clamoring for a father figure and more attention; and it would be kinda fun to watch her squirm as they gave it to him. Maybe she'd think twice about who was better than someone else.

"'Cause only she gets to call me 'Billy'," Spike said.

"You love each other," Henry said, "So, why were you hitting each other and calling each other names while having sex. You called her 'evil.' Are you evil?"

"Henry!"

"Mom, I know what sex is. I'm 12 not 4. I just want to know why he'd call her evil."

"I'm not evil," Faith said, "Sometimes grown-ups tease each other. Spike is good at teasing. He knows I was evil once."

"Don't listen to her, bear cub," Spike winked, "She was never evil. She just got lost. I was the one who was evil. A cold killer as all vampires are, but I got better. She's the saucy Vampire Slayer I fell in love with."

"Did her love make you stop being evil?"

"No, that was the first Vampire Slayer I fell in love with," Spike explained.

"Yeah, I'm not the fair maiden princess type," Faith said.

"Get out," soccer mom droned.

"She's more the type that would fight and die for me. Not something I'm always happy about. I'd rather do it for her, a man's duty and all that," Spike said.

"He's saying he's kind of a sexiest pig," Faith said.

"It would seem," soccer mom said.

"Well, I'm learning," Spike said.

"Can you tell me how you did it?" Hank asked.

"What learned to be a man that can be rescued?" Spike asked, "Well, I learned that love- real grown-up love- isn't just about being a white knight. It's about give and take. It's about trusting the girl to be the -"

"No, I mean how you learned to stop being evil," Henry said, "I have another m—"

"Henry!" soccer mom snapped, "That's enough. He's just teasing you. Let's go. These people don't want us to bother them."

"Sorry," he said, "Welcome to Storybook. There's a bed and breakfast in town you can stay at. They have the best pancakes."

"They don't want to stay in town," the chick said, "They want to be out here. Alone. Away from people who can hear them and ask questions, like who they really are and what they're really doing."

She seemed to look in the direction of Spike's feet which were in front of the gun. Faith knew she was just being paranoid. There was no way she could know it was there.

"Like we said I'm Faith Pratt and this is my husband Spike and we are really on vacation and we'd really would love to come into Storybook. Really."

Faith drawled sarcastically, but she was going into the quaint creepy town. Faith wasn't letting this tight ass bitch dictate her vacation.

"Well, no one is stopping you," cop mom said, "but I can't say much for tourist experience, and it's Storybrooke."

Faith watched the mother and kid walk away. The chick looked back once and gave her another glare. Faith folded her arms and stood in front of Spike as he turned away from her and picked up the gun. Faith eyes were transfixed on the cop mom and her sweet weird kid when Spike glided next to her.

"Behave," Spike whispered in her ear and put his arm around her.

"I thought this was vacation where I didn't have to," Faith turned to him.

"Well, then, misbehave with me, not her," he said, "Though, that would be something to remember for the album."

"You'll never be over fake blonds who think they're better than you," she said.

"The only thing I'm not over is you right now," he said, "I'm an awful selfish man. I want you all to myself, not off proving something to some mum that's a bit like you."

"What? Why the hell would you say that? You think I'm like that? You think I'm some chick who acts like she's better than everyone because when I got laid once it didn't go as planned?"

"No, I don't think you're some chick. I think you're my chick and I know all your buttons and I don't want anyone pushin' 'em but me."

He was smirking. She considered smacking him again as she searched his face. She let out a breath.

"Okay," she said, "But, only if you promise to push 'em good."

She wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Now, that I can promise with no pain," he said.

They kissed and she wanted nothing else. Well, she did want something else but it was all coming. She rapped the rest of herself around him and he slid her into the RV with ease.

"Just promise me we aren't going to go into the town and shake things up 'cause Mama bear rubbed you wrong," he said.

"Just keep rubin' me right and I'll promise anything," she cooed with his hands on her, "We'll just go for the pancakes."

She slid her hands under his black T-shirt and slid it off with his jacket.

"Yeah right, my wicked wife," he said, "I don't know if you can help yourself."

"I'll help myself to this."

She trailed down his stomach into his jeans.

"No need. It's all served up for ya if you're good," he said after he made her topless too.

"Then, I'll be good. I promise. Won't kill anybody," she closed her eyes.

He was kissing the two bite scars on her neck. Going from one side the other with his darting tongue.

"Eh, who am I kidding? It's yours if you're bad too. Kill the whole wonky magik town. I'll still be here."

They looked like two white dotted dice marks on either side of her neck. It was only when you got real close you could see one of the pair of dots was shallow and savage and the other was deep and almost surgically neat. When he kissed the deep side she moaned.

"Do whatever you like, just do it with me," he said.

"All I want to do is you," she said as she pulled his jeans off, "Wherever and whenever I want including the sun."

"Blue skies ahead, baby," he said before laying her down.


	2. Chapter 2

It was night. The sky was black over her town. The house was quiet. Completely dead quiet. Well, it wasn't as if there was anyone here nor would there be if Regina didn't think of something new. Henry was with _them._ Even though Regina destroyed the spell to _make _him love her, he hadn't magically come back to her. Magically. She was a fool to think that Henry would come back to her just because she had proven- twice- without magic- that she was willing to love him the way her own mother never had.

But, that wasn't Mother's fault. Her heart was gone. So, Regina had gotten back for her. Gotten it back so her mother could love her without magik, and that's what killed her. Snow had killed Regina's mother with magik, but Regina knew it was her foolish attempt to undo magik that had really killed Mother.

Regina was weighing her options. She knew all the voices of reason would tell her to give Henry time. She had nothing but time. That was part of the problem. She would always be in this town. She would always be Regina and she would always have time. Evan had shown her that by showing up as a grown man. It was when she did nothing with time things went dead- She went dead. There had to be something else she could do. Something to get back Henry. If Henry ever looked at her the way Evan had…

Suddenly the black vines on her white wallpaper moved. At first, this made Regina's heart shaped mouth make an "O" in surprise. She had almost forgotten. It had been years since the vines did this.

They shifted and separated and made a map of Storybrooke. They were alerting her as she had created them to do. They were showing her that there was something in her town. Something from the outside world that was magik. How dare something from this world and its sad excuse for magik come here to challenge her!

No matter, she was ready for a fight! This was something she could kill- destroy-immediately. She wouldn't have to lay out threats and wait as if she was some powerless nothing. Was it storming up to her home?

No, the map showed it was out by the lake. What in the world would it be doing there? She saw that the spot on the map was actually two spots, two spots dancing…connecting… One was red and orange like fire. It had a beating beacon of a heart like a wild ember.

This was no tired witch or worn-out warlock. That heart! The heart had traces of black around it that slowly diluted in the red like nothing more than spilled ink in a sea of electric blood. The core of the heart was rich with cherry red. This was something powerful, something grandly powerful and raw.

Then, there was the other spot. It was black like the vines themselves and it didn't seem to have a heart. Where a heart should be it had a lilac swirling orb like a wrongly colored fire-fly. Regina knew she should have been more focused on what this being was. What is unknown could be more of a threat, but she couldn't take her eyes off of the heart with the muted darkness.

Regina used a great deal of power to bring out the voices to the spots on her wall. In her world she would have just sent out a crow, but she didn't feel like searching the house for a feather and some strangled virgin pixie dust to create an eavesdropping bird. It was too bad she couldn't just use an ordinary old phone tap. But, she had to hear that heart's.

"Dude! Dude! Dude! Stop!" the voice was strained with struggle to speak and it giggled.

"Make me," a man's voice thick with desire said.

"We have to get some sleep or we'll miss it. We came here so you could stick your head out -Oooh!—not have it in me. C'mon, you can do that anytime. You gotta live, man. Since you decided to age with me, which I think is bullshit. Lemme get a good look at how old you're lookin' these days."

The heart was a young woman, with a sultry voice. She had smoked too many cigarettes in this world. She didn't sound like anyone who had any class. She sounded like Emma. Was she nothing more than a clueless New England girl? No, that heart had to have something.

"Is the spell making me look too old for you? Want me to turn it down a notch, just say the word. I'll be your boy toy, cougar."

The man. That was the other being, the one with no beating heart. He sounded like he was from The North Kingdom, or London, in this world.

He was talking about spells. Yes, this world did have their simple ones. Regina wondered what he was. Maybe he was some sort of creature disguised as a lover that set out to devour her heart. Or were they here to steal magik?

"Ha!" the woman said, "I knew that would get you to stop, you vain bastard. You look all of 36 and—Wait! You could only look as young as you really look. I do not look anywhere near older than you and it's gonna be a while before I start approaching the age of cougar! You dick!"

There was smacking and crashing and the sound of the man-being laughing.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" he was whining now.

Regina was by no means a prude. She had no problem imagining what was happening between these two creatures nor was she the least bit ashamed to be eavesdropping on anything that was happening in her town. But, there was something about what she was hearing that made a pit in her chest.

"I surrender," the man laughed, "Do with me what you will, old girl."

"Damn straight, and I'm not Bella fucking Swan," the sultry voice said, "I could give a shit that I'm a couple years older than you now. Not that people didn't look really old back then anyway. But, you know I'll be hot….hot…Mmmm…hot forever."

There were kissing sounds between her words, heavy breathing. Regina felt the pit in her chest deepen and wondered what was happening to her. She could barely focus on what the woman was saying and why the name Bella Swan sounded vaguely familiar. Regina knew what was wrong. As ridiculous as it was, all this prattle reminded her of being with Daniel.

"Of course, love," the man said, "So hot I'll drink your wrinkled bath water and lick your Depends."

"You're wicked gross, you know!"

She and Daniel never spoke to each other this way, but, they had laughed and kissed and…If she could have had Daniel in this world he wouldn't have been really human. He wouldn't have had his heart. Maybe there was something like that happening with in this creature.

"I think I do know it. I've eaten plenty a' veal. Drained lil' girls dry. Never got me off as much as been with you. Least sick thing I've done is have a stiffer for an aging woman such as yourse-OW! Oh, you bitch!"

This _thing _was evil! It had eaten children! At her worst Regina would never dream of doing such a thing.

"You dirty little whore. That was cheating. You don't mess with a man's-"

There was nothing but kissing again and moaning. Regina didn't care why the woman had such an intriguing heart. She wasn't letting them into her town. What if they went near Henry?

"You know I mean it, love. I'm in for life and not because I know you'll always be beautiful."

The woman with the rich red heart just let out a moaning sigh. It wasn't fair. Regina and Daniel had been innocent and in love and yet they could never have what these vile people did.

"You better be, Billy Boy" the woman said, "The spell is more for her than it is for me. I look like freak no matter what. At least- at least you can make yourself normal for her. You're her only chance."

The child eating beast let out a serious sigh now.

"So, you're ready to talk about this," he said.

"No," the woman said. It sounded like she was holding back tears.

Well, at least she knew some pain. Pain over a girl. Regina could relate.

"Love, I know I'm probably asking for another ball flick, but it really wasn't that bad. You're her mother. You love her. These things-"

"I—I don't know. I—" the woman stammered, "What if—what if she hates me one day for what I am. For what I did."

Regina concentrated, reached into the air and closed her fist and brought it down. This made the sound of the voices stop. She was grateful for her power and even more grateful for the silence. She would have run from the room to prevent herself from hearing more. She stared at the wall where the map showing the two beings was displayed. One killed children and had no heart. One had a heart with washed out black and a child. They had love and they had lust. They had things Regina wanted. They had everything she wanted and they deserved none of it. She was having second thoughts about letting them into town.

First, she had to figure out just what that man-thing was. She decided to start how her mother always told her back in her world. _Take what you do know and decided if it can work to your advantage._ So, she looked up the name Bella Swan, that the woman had mentioned. The woman was so adamant that she was _not Bella fucking Swan_ it had to mean that she was in some way like this person.

Regina was furious to see that it was only a ridiculous movie- a vampire movie but not an ordinary one. Well, at least it was original. It seemed like every movie was a remake of a movie of when she first came to this world. This movie was about…about a girl in love with a vampire. Vampires had no heartbeat. No heartbeat, but they still had hearts. Regina smiled. A vampire in her town. Something she could use.


	3. Chapter 3

_Note: Romance, sexiness, love and angst with the Spaith. "Once" interaction begins at Spike's POV. They meet Ruby. Then a little Regina. Awesome Spike/Regina interaction (at least I like it) Next update in 12 days or so with action!_

* * *

She had used everything to her advantage, even his own fantasies. Faith was a bitch like that, and why shouldn't she be? She was the one that made this all happen without her freak out there would be no vacation. Maybe she was really the one who wanted a vacation. It had been five years since days and nights like these. She should lose her shit more often.

When dawn began Faith used it as an excuse to wake up Spike by running her fingers up and down the smooth skin on his chest. Her finger-tips traced his cool lean sculpted arms. She ran her hands up and down his whole body from his indented cheeks to his long knobby toes.

When that didn't work Faith used it as an excuse to run her lips down his body. When he still didn't wake up she used that as a reason to kiss and nip and his chilled bod. The trailer let out a squeak when all she did was get on top of him.

He still kept his eyes closed and didn't more or breathe as the birds outside began to chirp-chirp-chirp to find each other. Faith wondered what it was like to be so at peace. Well, there was one part of him that wasn't just chilling.

It stood out straight and high, like a gentleman does when a lady enters the room. Faith knew she wasn't a lady. She turned him over and began her routine on his back end. He let out a shuddering moan.

"Must be no laws against molesting the dead here," he said.

"I know you've been away since I kissed you," she said, "You have a tell."

"Sorry. Can't hear you. Still sleeping, but I think I'm about to have a great dream," he said barely picking his head off the pillow.

"You have no idea," she said and reached one hand around.

He tried to say something, but for some ol' reason it just came out as a muffled pillow moan. Faith grinned wickedly.

"But like all champs your work is never done. When you wake up we gotta get moving to make this come about," Faith said.

"Oh, yes, hi-ho hi-ho off to work I…." he trailed off into moaning because she hurried along what she was doing.

"I'm serious, Billy Boy. We can't waste time," she said as his body twisted and shuttered.

She could hold him like this under her power for so much longer if only they didn't have to chase the sun. Faith was no stranger to time limits and sacrifices. She played as long as she could but knew now to keep it under control. She let herself feel each pulse of his pleasure and brought it to him and then finished it.

He took only one moment to collect after his release and then he twisted under her to face her. Faith knew he would pull her down into his now warm body to bring her into his pleasure. She let him twist around under her and open his legs so that hers would open in kind just so he could get a whiff of what was coming, for later.

"No," she said strongly, "We can't miss it. It's coming up and—"

Faith wasn't going to give in. She was going to remain strong, disciplined and hard like she knew she could be. That was how she won her battles now.

"Yes, it is coming. Don't worry. I never miss a thing," he said and tried to sound casual.

He tried to sound casual as he took his fingers inside and pinned down that spot in her that was always running away. She forgot how he could catch in between his fingers like a helpless little fly. Faith forgot every-fucking-thing for about a full 50 seconds. She forgot how Spike could make it quick and painless. So goddamned fucking painless it was almost came full around to pain, but stayed just at the other end. She forgot that mad spot finding skill.

She forgot who she was. What she was. That she was. She forgot to care that she was an animal howling and frothing and squirting. She didn't just drip it out like tears she shot it out like rage. Like her body was mad it couldn't just stay feeling this way. Her voice end all her girlie squealing with its usual huskiness:

"Spike—fuc—sssaaa—Gaaaaaah!"

Faith didn't even care when she remembered who she was because her body hadn't come all the way down yet. Actually, she was glad to remember who she freakin' was because she was the chick that got to have this. Him- cockily laughing.

"Fuckin' asshole!" she gave him a drunken slap on his chest.

"Not laughing at you. Never laughing at you. It just makes me so bloody happy when I do that to you," he said, "It's the biggest rush I can get."

"Isn't that my line?" she said into his shoulder as she wrapped her arms and legs around him.

Faith was pretty sure enjoying something that much caused brain damage or jail time.

"You know I have to give as good as I get," he said as he squeezed her.

Of course she knew that. So, she knew how to use Spike's sense of duty to her advantage. Sometimes she thought that maybe B was right with what she said all those years ago: _You finally found someone you figured out how to use without using them up because Spike has no 'used up' setting._

Of course Faith had her sense of duty too. She had been calling to check in and would do it every night. Spike would do more of the taking. He would answer most of the questions. The questions were always more for him anyway. Where were they? What were they doing? What were they eating for breakfast? Would they bring back a present? Of course they would. Faith squeezed Spike harder.

"Mmm, well payback's a bitch; and she wants to get going so you can't ever say she didn't give you an experience you never had."

Faith pulled herself away from him as she saw the sun rising through the tinted windows. She started gathering up the leather.

"Love, I do love you 'an all, but sometimes you're a bit slow," he said, "All you've given me are things I never had."

"Well, this ride won't cost as much as all the other stuff," she said.

That was the best snappy comeback to that this early. She knew if she opened her mouth she'd just make a joke about almost giving him the experience of burning alive every seven years or so. Maybe this had been their 7 year itch. Leave it to Faith to turn an itch into a burn.

Spike was starting the bike, an old Harley before they became yuppie machines.

She jumped on the back of the bike and watched the sunrise over the little town of Storybrooke. Faith even used riding bitch on a motorcycle as an excuse to cling hard to her man, to make him feel the heat between her legs. She used the loud engine to her ultimate advantage.

* * *

"I promise I won't let you down again. If I do, I'll make it right," Faith said in the roar of the engine.

Cunning girl. Spike knew that Faith knew that she could hear her over the 1977 FXS Harley that she had used some connections to get him and acted like it was nothing. Meanwhile, it was a beautiful machine with surprising smooth power. Granted it was no 1929 Harley JDH, but you probably had to kill to get one of those and he wasn't going there again.

Where he was going was racing towards the sun. A place he had never dreamed. Leave it to Faith to think of this. She was an insidious smart whip. The kind you feel on your back forever in a way that would always make you feel alive, and Faith was his whip. And he knew he was the luckiest man in the world. There were Gods and billionaires that knew it. They had tried to charm Faith away from Spike. Two vengeful girls, opportunistic Watchers, an all-powerful warlock, and a demon clan that created an inter-dimensional had even tried to force them apart. Didn't work.

Spike knew everything was powerless against them. The only thing Spike had to worry about taking Faith away from him was Faith herself. But, it wasn't like how it was with Buffy who only wanted the demons she couldn't have. With Faith it was her own demons that could chase her off.

There was a powerful vampire thought he understood it once: _I gotta hand it to you. You know to treat a queen like a whore and a whore like a queen. You know how to get under their skin and life there. You're quite the little parasite, Willy._ That was the day Spike realized the ultimate big bad vampire never had a clue.

Buffy was a queen no matter how you treated her, all alone in her tower.

Faith was the Madonna no matter how she treated herself.

Spike didn't give a toss what he was. Maybe he was the whore, a parasite, always the fool, sometimes a hero.

So, here he was married to Faith Lehane with a constant challenge. He had no complaints. Maybe one. He'd only get to do this for another 60 years at most.

He liked to think of himself as a part-huntsman part-player these days, always looking about for what the girls wanted and needed. Hunting for the answer of what Faith had gotten in her head now. He had an idea of what his wife was up to. Spike knew there was another reason as to why they were really in this Storybrooke place.

Faith had her arms around his chest tight and even with the wind and the roar of the engine he could feel the heat of her open legs at his ass. He could smell her. The pleasure he created in her. Her open legs were still smiling, but she was still rattled and whispering to him about what had happened back at home.

How could she think she had let him down? The woman had given up power for him. She tried to give up her life on several occasions- not for the world, just for him- which he still wasn't very happy about. She once sat alone for days literally facing demons, thinking he was dead, just so she could have a chance at protecting what belonged to him. She'd do all that, but she'd never consider giving up a friend he didn't like, not that he'd ever ask, but really after everything that had happened why did she still talk to Robin Wood? Spike would take three pissing and bitching Kennedys hanging out at his house every day over seeing Wood's "like" on a her Facebook page after all he did. But, that didn't let him down. It was her.

Did she really think a little snit after a long day was all it took to let him down? So, he burnt and bled a little and there were some tears. That was family life. No man worth his weight in salt would be let down by that. It was actually making him bloody mad the more he thought about it! He should be insulted.

When they arrived at Granny's Bed & Breakfast Spike was good and ready to give it to her and tell her how bloody stupid she was being about what happened.

"How did it feel?" Faith asked as she got off the bike, "Racing toward the sun?"

Spike went to say he was fine. He had gotten a little burned. The girl had gotten a little scared, but he had stopped her from running off and everything was bloody fine! It wasn't Faith's fault. But, he saw his wife's smiling face and was actually able to stop himself from blurting out anything stupid.

"What's wrong?" she said touching his face, "You didn't like it? It isn't burning you is it?"

"Nothing is wrong," he said and pulled her close to him and looked into her eyes, "Nothing at all. It's just so beautiful in this light it almost hurts to look at and it feels better than anything I've ever had. I'd burn up backwards and forwards 20 times to feel this way just for a day, let alone years. I've never been let down by it ever, and even if there came a time-"

He was cut off by her lips pressing against his and opening up to cup his mouth. They kissed for a while in the rising sun and he could feel the warmth of it. Spike thought he didn't give a toss about the sun. He was a creature of the night and that was how it was. But, he was beginning to see what he was missing.

"Thank you, love," he said, "You always take such good care of me. Of us."

"Calm down," she said, "You were the one that said we _had _to go on vacation and it wasn't like we could do Club Med. I wanted to find somewhere interesting. Although, maybe interesting is a stretch. I think this one strip is all they got, and I don't see a bar. Maybe they're Mormon Mystics?"

She turned away from him and bent over and took off her skull cap helmet and shook her hair out.

"Whatever they are they know something special when they see it," he said.

He looked and saw almost everyone in the place staring at them. One grizzly bearded bloke practically had his nose pressed up against the glass staring at Faith's ass.

"Freaky," Faith whispered to him as they walked through the door, "If they all turn out to be blood sucking demons. You take the ones on the left, I'll do right. It won't be…"

His wife stopped when she came face to face with a beast. A beautiful, tiny, porcelain skinned big blue eyed long dark-haired beast. She was smiling wide at Spike and Faith both. Spike could feel her raw physical power and something he decided was goodness.

"…pretty," Faith finished.

"Hello, welcome to Granny's," the friendly beastie said, "Don't mind them. We just don't get a lot of visitors this time of year. Especially not ones so strong—strongly in love."

"Eh, were just married," Faith said as her big brown eyes scanned the girl beastie.

"I'd get married to kiss like that. Two?" the girl said and it took Spike a second to realize she was gesturing toward the booths.

"Yep, for now," Faith said, "and we need a room."

"Sure thing," she said, "We'll be happy to have you. Though there isn't much to do."

"Not a problem," Faith said, "We know how to make our own fun. Unlike a lot of people around here I'm guessing. What's with her? She's not into new people?"

Faith nodded her head in the direction of the only one that wasn't trying not to stare at them. It was a woman with more porcelain skin and unassuming short hair who looked distraught as looked off at nothing as she stirred her tea.

"She's just going through something. She's a good friend of mine. She doesn't realize how good, no matter what," the girl went all dark there but then brightened up.

"Anyway," she said, "welcome to Granny's. Let me know when you know what you want."

"Well, over the river and through the woods," Spike whispered after the girl walked far away.

"Betcha wondering what it's like to get that river running through those woods," Faith said.

"Speak for yourself," Spike said, "I could do with just you for a few more centuries really. But, I know you won't be able to help yourself. You're the curious sort and you just have to figure out what's going on 'round here. Shake things up."

"Me?" Faith said, "I'm a loner who lays low. You're the one that needs a challenge and other people and bullshit. At least I think they're people. That cop-mom bitch was definitely a person. But, the waitress chick, she was a little too friendly. Do you think she's a succubus? Seems there are either old or pretty people. You think it's a town where the old ones guard the young and sacrifice tourists to demons? Because we could take that down 1-2-3 like we did two years ago, but we have to figure out how to keep their sun."

Spike laughed and took her hand from the other side of the booth.

"Right now the only thing I wanna figure out is how to sneak my blood on to some eggs without all these townies noticing; so I can get you into a cozy room to make you scream and dig into me some more. I know you'll need to poke your head out a bit, but I'm not done with you yet, Slayer."

Spike could feel Faith's breathing change. He could hear her pulse quicken and smell her long for him. She flushed.

"Who says I'm done with you?" she said coolly and looked at her menu as her boot rode up to his crotch.

Faith waived the sexy-pot beastie waitress over as she pressed her rubber soul into his manhood.

"I know what I want now," she said, "Apple pancakes. I think I know what my man wants to. You have a lot of old English things on your menu blood pudding and blood sausage. You're menu isn't boring."

* * *

Regina was bored. All she had been doing was more waiting. Nothing had changed. Her mother was still dead. Her son was with Emma and the supposedly snow white woman who killed Regina's mother. Mary-Margret was still forlorn over her precious heart's black spot. So what? It made no difference. Regina's mother was still dead and Henry was still drifting away from her.

Maybe she was wrong to just wait and watch Mary-Margret destroy herself. For some reason the insipid woman's suffering wasn't pleasing Regina at all.

Now there was this vampire and yet another crude ingénue with a power she didn't deserve. Regina thought they were the answer, or at least a start, but they had taken up at Granny's now. A place she couldn't spy into with magik anymore. They had holed up in there for five days and hadn't come out. From what Regina did know they just fornicated and ate like animals. At least Regina would feel nothing when she went ahead with her plans. They clearly weren't worthy of anything that they had been given.

She knew she couldn't stand the wait any longer and that meant she had to go to town. Regina hadn't been out since she faced Mary-Margret about her sad little heart. She hadn't felt like going into town and seeing the people who had killed her mother or all the others who thought it was good that Mother was dead. But, what else could she do? She thanked the fates that she did go because she was shocked by what she saw.

It was Henry. He was at the counter on Granny's Diner talking to the vampire! Regina didn't need to know what the vampire looked like nor hear the voice she had heard to know it was he. The creature fit his voice. He was a sallow angular thing a bit small framed but set with tight thin coiled muscles. He moved fluidly with a relaxed air only a unnatural thing could have. What was evils was he speaking to her son?

"…So, then Banner says 'That's my secret. I'm always angry,' and he turns into The Hulk."

"Whoa!" Henry gasped.

Regina grabbed Henry's arm willing to do whatever she could to get him out of harm's way.

"Henry! You're coming with me now!" She said.

"Let the kid go, hot lips," the vampire said, "Nice and easy. There's no need for blood."

The vampire had his hand on her arm. It was as she expected, ice cold. Regina didn't know what to do. She could sense its strength and she had no idea what magik would work against it. She was terrified.

"You lie," she spat looking it in the eye, "Blood is what you're all about! Ripping apart children! Well, you've come to the wrong town, you messed with the wrong child, because they're both mine!"

"A'right," he said, "number one I had the, I wouldn't say, pleasure of meeting Hank's mother and I know you aren't her. Number—"

"It's okay, Spike. I have two moms. Mom, Spike is a good vampire. Maybe they didn't have them in your world but they have them here," Henry said.

"Not really, Hank. I'm a bit special. If you ever see one a' my kind, you run the other way or get your witch mother here to help ya. I bet she'd do a'right, though I know witches a little more powerful."

He—it, was telling her it knew witches, and it knew she used magik without even seeing it. Regina had no idea what kind of power this thing had and it had charmed her son. It had removed it's hand from her arm but it made a point of still being very close to her with its relaxed sitting. It sipped a soda languidly to make a point of how non-threatened it was.

Regina did the only thing she could do. She leaned in and talked quietly to the vampire so Henry couldn't hear.

"Is that a threat, you monster?" she said, "You may have all the charm of a well-oiled snake and that mist that makes every virgin drop her lamb to your slaughter in your world. But now you're my world and if you stay I will take you and draw out every bit of your rotted body that ever held joy from the innocent's screams you made and turn them into your own agony forever. I will keep your black shriveled heart in a box as my toy."

"Wow," he whistled and spoke loudly, "Do I like you. Really, you're just my type and that's one sweet offer, hot lips, but I'm already married. Speaking of the missus you don't wanna make her angry."

"Is the like The Hulk?" Henry asked.

"Henry, come now!" Regina said and grabbed his arm.

All she could do is run with him and try some magik and hope for they'd live.

"Ow!" Henry yelped.

"Let go off him, Regina! Have you finally gone crazy?" Emma said.

She had come out of nowhere and Regina felt forced to let go of Henry as people were now going beyond staring but murmuring. She couldn't afford to have them all turn against her again.

"Mom, Spike was telling me about The Avengers. I have to see it," Henry said to Emma.

"Why don't we ever have good movies here? Why is the movie theater always closed for repairs? Is that part of your spell, mom? You want to keep everything from the real world out, don't you?" Henry said that to her.

Regina was too heartbroken to say anything. She never intended to keep this world away from Henry. She couldn't control the spell over the town. If she could she would have done it all so differently.

"Henry, we don't need to talk about personal family business in front of people," Emma said to Henry.

"Mom, I keep telling you it's okay. Spike knows all about magik. He's a vampire and Faith is a Slayer. They are around magik all the time."

"Well, not all the time," the vampire said, "I really don't care much for Magik. Faith's got an odd reaction to it these days. There's always a price."

"That's what I say…" Henry began.

"Henry-" Regina cried desperately.

"Regina, why don't you come with me for a sec," Emma said and now she had Regina's arm, "Henry, just—just stay where I can see you, please."

Emma pulled her out of the diner and Regina didn't see how she couldn't go.

"Have you lost it?" Emma demanded, "If I ever see you lay a hand on my kid like that again."

"He is _not yours_, and if you are going to be so blind you certainly don't deserve him."

Regina was thinking of ways to physically over-power Emma to get back to rescue her son from the vampire.

"I don't deserve him, that's rich," Emma said, "Whatever you think of me you can't think I'd let Henry anywhere near the British Invasion and his groupie wife in there without knowing that Ruby and Granny have been keeping an eye on them 24/7…and they've found nothing."

Regina relaxed as she saw Granny behind the counter talking to Henry. Granny was a woman of the forest. She would know how to easily take down a vampire. Regina knew that they were weakened in the sun. Maybe they didn't have any power at all during daylight. She didn't remember. Vampires were creatures that commoners had to worry about.

"You don't trust him or his woman either," Regina said.

She realized Emma wasn't a fool. Regina watched Emma look towards the Diner. It didn't seem like Ruby was doing much watching. She was excitedly talking like a twit as she hung a sign that said _Club Night at Granny's._ Regina turned away not wanting to see the face of the girl Ruby was talking to. The Heart with the black washed out.

"They check out on paper, kind of," Emma said.

"You know something about them. What? I know something too. We can help each other."

Regina would be willing to work with Emma again. She'd welcome it, to protect Henry. She could use the vampire and his companion to fix everything. She could have it all. Using the vampire and the woman would be completely justifiable as they were now a clear threat to Henry.

"With what?" Emma snorted, "Being some kind of Neighborhood Unwelcoming Committee? Ruby likes them and I trust her. Don't you have anything better to do with your time these days? You really don't, do you?"

"Excuse me," Regina said, "Didn't you see him with all that charm and sexual glamour? He admitted outright! Didn't you hear him? That's a vampire in there, Emma. He eats little boys! We have to capture it. Kill it, and of course—of course Brides of Vampires are just as bad. Maybe worse."

Just when Regina didn't think she could become more furious Emma burst out laughing.

"I didn't know you had a thing for Brits, Regina. He also said his slut-bomb wife was destined to kill him and they fell in love as if any of that happens in this world," Emma said, "I'm sure he's just a lazy English Lit grad who married her for her money and knocked her up to make it stick. What's weird is how a chick like that gets money."

"You stupid girl! After all you've seen you don't believe in evil."

"Oh, I believe in evil, all right, but this is a new one from you," Emma said, "Trying to use annoying tourists to scare me into thinking I need you to protect Henry. If anything they're safer than that Mendell guy. Even if they leaked the truth about this town, who'd believe them?"

"I'm still The Mayor of this town," Regina said, "and I know when I see someone dangerous."

"Yeah and I'm still a cop in this town and maybe I think that dangerous person is you," Emma said.

"Poor little Emma. There are still so many things you don't know. Fine, play nice with the new _people_. Trust your instincts because they've certainly never led you astray before, with an unwanted child a prison sentence! Where is Henry's father these days? Off with his fiancé making nice with Gold? Maybe you're too distracted with that or you murdering mother to care about real danger."

"Regina—" Emma began and her eyes went cold.

It made Regina smile as she continued:

"But if that _thing with his whore_ lay a finger on _my_ son, I swear, I will find a way to rip out your heart."

"Regina, you might want to keep it down," Emma said coolly.

"So, this is Hank's other mom. I'm guessing you two had a bad break up," a throaty female voice drawled.

Regina knew it was the woman. She turned to see the woman standing there. Regina turned and stormed away from Emma and the woman. She couldn't stand to look at the woman. She wouldn't, because she saw enough to know that the woman looked just as Regina thought she would. Dark hair, large dark eyes, graceful features with a strong presence. She could have been Regina's sister, or she looked like Mother when she was young. Regina didn't want to see her face anymore than had to. She tried to remind herself of all the crude things she heard to woman say and do to a killer of children as she raced away.

"Mom, where are you going?" Henry came after her, "I thought you could watch The Avengers with us."

"You're watching that story with that—that woman and her boyfriend? Henry-"

"No, Spike is Faith's husband, and he is just lending me the DVD. I'm going to watch it with Emma. I know things are bad now, but maybe just watching a real fake story would help."

"No, no," Regina said, "I—I have to go talk to one of the dwarves—contractors—to see about fixing the movie theater. That's what Mayor's do. That way we can finally watch real movies with real heroes whenever we want."

"Oh, okay," Henry said, "Spike said in these new movies sometimes it's hard to know who the real heroes are and even they have to do something bad for good to happen."

Regina smiled even though she felt the empty pit in her chest. She was doing the right thing. She had to get the vampire and his bride away from her son. She was taking action.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: _This chapter is pretty much plot development. You get to see what our lovely Faith thinks of the Town of Storybrooke and its moral dilemmas , which is what inspired this fic in the first place. Ensemble shows up. However, it's all from Emma's POV and her issues. Lots of Emma/Faith interaction with a little Ruby too, and Spike and Gold have a few lines. Last chapter coming soon. _

_Please drop me a review if you like it! Even if you say one word I'm happy. It's hard lovin' and writin' the "bad" girls (when you write actual plots.) _

Part 3- Stranger-Danger

Emma could hear the beat. Had everything been a dream? Emma was back in her building in Allston and the college kids were partying again. She'd kick their asses, those spoiled brats. Of course, it had been an insane dream. Emma was alone and had to find more work.

She had no family and her kid would never want to find her. There was no Snow White mother and Prince Charming Father, and of course Neal was just an asshole. There was no Henry. No Henry for her, anyway. At least she had her Beatle, which she would use to drive through the house of those college kids if they didn't turn down The Clash. Well, at least it wasn't Pitbull. But hearing Combat Rock didn't make up for not having a family and probably being completely crazy.

"Emma," someone whispered.

Now what?

"Emma, wake up," they whispered.

She opened her eyes and saw bricks in the darkness. She saw the outline of a woman.

"Emma, I don't know where David and Henry are," she said, "and the music is really loud."

"Mom?" Emma gasped and turned on the light.

There she was, Mary Margret in the apartment light in her white night gown. She smiled widely. She was real, still. Emma was waiting for the day when she wouldn't be.

"Wait," Emma said squeezing the bridge of her nose and shutting her eyes to the bam-bam-bam of Straight To Hell.

"This is the happiest I've seen you in weeks," she said, "Did you just say Henry and David are gone?"

"Oh," Mary Margret said and her smile faded but then appeared in a smaller version, "Yes, you—you just never call me 'mom'."

"Oh," Emma said as she swung her legs out of bed.

"Well, I am approaching 30 and how old are you?" Emma asked.

"Oh," Mary-Margret said, "I—I don't know. I was in the woods for one year, two years, maybe 3? And then we came here and- 28, maybe."

"You're younger than me?" Emma said.

"Oh, I don't know," she said, "I could be off. I mean really I'm 56. Wow!"

"But not really; it's just weird," Emma said.

"No, well yes, but I am your mom," she said.

"Mary-Margret, let's get Henry and David," Emma said.

"Of course," Mary Margret said, "I guess they're at Granny's with the music. What is that music?"

"Straight to Hell," Emma said.

"Oh, is that bad? Are David and Henry in danger?" Mary-Margret asked.

"Well, Henry is, from me," Emma said, "It's eleven o'clock."

It seemed like almost everyone in town from the ages of 18-55 were stuffed into Granny's. Granny herself just seemed to think that everyone stuffed into her place was the greatest thing. Ruby and some others were hustling to get everyone drinks, which they clearly did not need. Emma pushed passed people dancing and talking. There were people smoking, and Emma was pretty sure she smelled something other than cigarettes. What the hell?

"Do you see Henry?" Emma turned to Mary Margret.

But, Mary-Margret was no longer by her side. Emma saw that Archie was talking to her and there were ten people between them. Archie looked happy rather than worried about Mary Margret. This wasn't right. Something weird was going on. She didn't see Henry anywhere.

"Dude, dude, is what he's telling me true?" a woman's voice howled.

Emma recognized that voice over all the talking.

"Well—" a man said and she surely recognized that one.

Neal.

"So, let me guess," the woman said, "You're Paul Bunion and you—you're Aladdin. Aladdin was one of my first sex dreams. You would think it would be weird with the cartoon thing, but no."

Of course, Emma remembered the voice, Faith Pratt. Now Emma saw her in a low-cut striped gray sweater that cut off at her low-riding black jeans. She wore red lipstick that rivaled Ruby's and black eyeliner. Her long dark hair fell in waves. She smiled at Neal whose fiancé seemed to be nowhere. Leroy was on the other side of Faith Pratt grinning. Emma had a feeling that this chick could bring this whole town to its knees if she didn't stop her, and where was her sleaze ball husband?

Emma saw him at the counter on the stool he seemed to like. Emma decided to go talk to him, as he seemed like the more reasonable of the two, which was saying very little. When she got there William Pratt was talking to Ruby. He was leaning over the bar and whispering to her and looking at across the diner at his wife.

"…like a sideways caramel tootsie roll with a sweet crack down the middle. She'll want to make it all about you, but, you gotta remember it's all about her and that's when the rush comes, "

That was what Emma heard him saying to Ruby over the music and she really wished she hadn't. She stopped listening but saw Ruby was grinning. Now Bloc Party came on. This was not right.

"Emma!"

Mary Margret came up to her and hugged her like they were girlfriends who lost each other at a club, which wasn't that far off.

"This is wrong," Emma said.

"Oh, Emma!" she said, "I'm sorry for what I did, but can't I still hug my daughter?"

"Mary Margret, I don't care about what you did. I care that this place is going insane like Spring Break and I don't see David or Henry."

"They aren't answering their phones, but maybe they can't hear them in this music," she said, "I like this music."

That was it. Emma found her way behind the counter and shut the music off. Everyone groaned and murmured.

"What gives Emma?" Granny asked.

Emma didn't answer because when she got up from unplugging the music she locked eyes with:

"Faith Pratt," Emma hissed.

"Officer party crasher," she said, "What the hell is your problem? Who are you in this Disneyland? Little Miss Muffet who had a spider crawl up her ass?"

People laughed.

"Who are you?" Mary Margret was suddenly by Emma's side, "Why are you bothering my daugh—my friend?"

Mary Margret knew this woman was an outsider. It seemed like everyone else was forgetting it.

"Big surprise, your friends with Debbie Downer. I'm Faith The Vampire Slayer. Who are you, lady? I've seen you in here for a week dragin' your sad ass around. Are you little Bo Peep? Did you lose your sheep?"

People laughed again.

"That's it!" Emma barked and grabbed the woman's arm and went to twist it behind her back.

"Hands off!" Faith Pratt said.

She had twisted out of Emma's grasp and looked ready to fight.

She thought she heard Neal object in the gawking crowd.

"Emma it is okay," Ruby said softly.

"No, it's not! I don't know what's gotten into you," Emma said, "All of you. But they are the cause."

"I wish I brought my sword," Mary Margret whispered to Emma.

"What seems to be the problem, Officer?" the Brit, William Pratt, sauntered over from the counter.

"William Pratt," Emma said.

"Emma, what are you doing?" Another man Emma knew asked as Neal just stood with the crowd.

"David!" Emma gasped, "You're—you're partying with these people too?"

"Partying?" David said, "I was just dancing with Mother Superior and I had a one beer. It turns out we both like The Clash. I just needed a moment away."

"Oh, David," Mary Margret said looking pained and guilty.

"A moment away? Really? Because that seems like a good idea now," Emma said, "You know you're still The Sheriff of this town. This is still a town, and we still have to keep an eye on visitors. Where's Henry?"

"Henry?" David asked.

"Yeah, Henry!" Emma said "My son, your grandson. He clearly followed you down here."

"Grandson? Okay, for reals, just tell me what's up with this town. I know it ain't Disney come to life. There are no cute talking animals. Thank god, those things 'll cut you. So, what is it? Ageless Stepford families? Demons disguised as mostly boring White people?" Faith Pratt said.

The people still listening laughed. Neal was one of them.

"Suburbanites who partake in demon sacrifice, is my guess," William Pratt said,  
"It would explain why they have no other bar or restaurant or party place. It all happens here. Maybe they sacrificed the rest of the werewolves. Did the town drown your pups, Ruby?"

"Yep, I mean, what was I gonna do with seven kids anyway," Ruby joked as she walked past William Pratt with dishes and he seemed to grab her ass.

"Get your hands off her- tale!" Emma said realizing Ruby was wearing a fake tale over her black skirt.

At least Emma hoped it was fake. Most People stopped gawking and started getting back into their own conversations. Some people started leaving and talking on their phones.

"Why are you even wearing that, Ruby?" Emma demanded.

"Faith said we should have a club night. You can wear whatever on club night," Ruby said

"Ruby, you don't know this woman. They've done something to all of you. They're conning you all—Mary Margret, don't," Emma said.

To her shock Emma's mother seemed to be talking to Faith Pratt and not in argumentative way. The woman had gotten close to her mother and was staring into her eyes. Mary Margret's eyes shined with tears. Emma went to go to her mother and push Faith Pratt away, but before she could she felt a hand on her shoulder. She was ready to knock it off until she saw it was David.

"Emma, these people are harmless," David said, "Friendly even. They're a married couple who wanted to dance. We used to dance. They're playing music I forgot or never remembered in our world. I mean, in my coma. Music I forgot after I woke up from my coma. Anyway, maybe if you didn't act so suspicious people would be less suspicious."

"Because what you said wasn't suspicious at all," Emma said, "and speaking of suspicious I looked up these two."

"You were in a coma, mate," Spike said, "Comas are a bitch. Faith has been in way more than me but…"

"Really?" David asked, "Did she get all her memory back? Because—"

"David," Emma snapped, "Stop it!"

"That's bullshit!" Faith Pratt yelled suddenly at Mary Margret, "You're telling me after all that bitch did to you, and was going to keep doing to you, that you feel bad for icing her? You're in a war. You did what you had to do. You're heart only turns black when you have nothing left to protect. Don't waste your time on tears, snow white."

"Who told you I was Snow White?" Mary Margret asked.

"You're Snow White?" Faith Pratt asked.

"Mary Margret!" Emma gasped, "Am I in Invasion of the Body Snatchers? These people are manipulating you! Stop telling them everything. I've done research on them. It wasn't easy."

"Not as easy as we look," William said.

"Emma—" Michael Tillman was trying to say something to her.

Another man who had left his family to party with some strangers. Emma ignored him.

"You're clearly too cool for Facebook, Mr. Pratt," Emma said to the man, "You're not what you seem on paper. _You _graduated from Oxford with a degree in English lit?"

"How I ever talked you ever talked me into putting that into…" he grumbled to his wife who had now come next to him and was glaring at Emma.

"Hey, it's not like it's not true besides a few credits. The dates might be off. So, we're arrested because he too sexy to be a Rhode scholar? Remember how I thought it was road scholar, like you lived on the road lugging along books about dead guys?"

"It's about as useful," he said.

"You can't be that stupid, Ms. Pratt. You've taken a lot of classes. Most mythology, some on science, one called Demons, Portals, Magik. Two child development classes that didn't really fit." Emma said.

"They let anyone take classes online. Maybe I'm smartening up to reel in my next nerdy rich husband after I drain this one of his trust fund," Faith Pratt said as she crossed her arms and glared.

"Emma," Neal decided to try to say something now and to get near her.

Too late, Neal. Emma ignored him too. He had Marco next to him. Really Marco? The man had a son at home. What was he doing partying here? These people were definitely doing something. She kept her eyes locked on Faith Pratt.

"But, it says you're the one with the money," Emma said to Faith, "Left to you by Connor Angel or Angel Connor- the records are often confused, and before that Richard Wilkins. Two men that died mysteriously, really mysteriously. Wilkins even knew a girl with a name similar to yours who also died mysteriously, after escaping prison. See, I think you already reeled in your rich men and now you're with the one you want, a con partner. Only it isn't enough, because it never is, is it? Even the kid isn't enough. That's why you left her behind and came here because you heard that this town has something worth stealing. Some magik maybe? Is that what you and your partner in crime are looking for?"

Faith Pratt suddenly had a rage in her eyes as she lunged at Emma. Emma wasn't expecting that, but now everyone could see what this woman and her husband really were.

"You stupid fu—" she roared.

"Love, love, love…" William Pratt was on his wife faster then Emma saw him move.

He had grabbed her up in a backwards bear hug her feet were off the ground as she thrashed. It was like he was singing a tortured rock ballad _Love, love, love_ to calm her down. It didn't appear to be working.

"Let me go!" she yelled, "Let me go, Spike! I will kill the bitch where she stands."

Really? They were sticking with the whole "Spike" thing as his name. Emma smirked.

"You know I'll never let you go," he grunted still holding her.

"Maybe you should," the girl grunted.

"Faith, it's okay," Ruby also seemed to be helping to hold the small woman back.

Emma heard someone say her name again.

Granny got in on the action too by getting right in front of Faith's face.

"Faith," Granny said, "You're better than this. You both are. Emma is no threat to you. She's just threatened by you. Once you both see that…"

"Emma," Mary Margret pulled Emma's attention away, "That wasn't very nice. But we have—"

"'Wasn't very nice!'" Emma spat, "Sometimes you really are like Disney's Snow White and I'm getting sick of it. All I did was tell the truth! She just said she wanted to kill me and I'm not very nice. These people are charming the pants of all of you. Don't you find it a little suspicious that you wouldn't talk to me, or listen to me about killing Cora for weeks but you told this skank in two minutes, and now you feel fine? And David is out here drinking and talking about The Clash. Ruby is ready to jump into a furry three-way and Granny is—"

"Emma, I don't feel fine," Mary Margret said, "I've been working up to talking, but I love you. I didn't want to burden you. Sometimes strangers are easier—"

"Strangers are easier," Emma balked, "How can you say—"

"Emma, it's Henry," Neal said.

"Henry," Emma said, "Henry is a kid. I expect him to be charmed by motorcycles, and guys with rock star accents who talk about action movies, and pretty women with boobs, but not you. For so long Henry was alone. People told him he was crazy. He knew things weren't right, but had no one to believe him. So now he'll just talk to anyone who seems like they want to listen, even though he has me. Maybe it was because I was a stranger to him for too long but you all—"

"Emma," Neal said, "I just got a message from Henry saying he was in a stranger's van."

"What? He's not here?" Emma demanded.

"Oddly, we didn't invite your 12 year-old kid to drink with us at club night," Faith Pratt said now looking calm and smug, but something in her eyes was pained.

"Like that's ever stopped Henry," Emma said then she turned to Neal, "He said he was in a stranger's van?"

"Well, he said it was the exterminator guy's van with some other kids. Michael and Marco can't find their kids either," Neal said with the phone to his ear.

"Ava and Nick left me a note saying they were going to Six Flags," Michael Tillman said.

Six Flags? Neal looked panicked.

"C'mon, Henry answer!" he yelled, "He just turned his phone off, but I was able to track it. He was heading North on Main."

Neal could track Henry's phone. They had just met. But he was his father.

"It sounds like he's leaving town through the north exit," David said, "But my car is blocked in. Whose car isn't blocked in?"

"They left with The Exterminator? Who the hell is The Exterminator?" Emma demanded.

People started talking excitedly. Talking about whose car was where and how they would lose their memories if they left.

"Six Flags at midnight?" Faith Pratt said, "Don't your kids here in Fairyland know any better?"

Before Emma could respond David turned to her.

"Emma, you'll have to be the one to go after them. Henry is safe, but if the other kids will lose their memories…"

"It doesn't sound like Henry is safe, David. What is going on?" Emma demanded, "This can't be someone from Storybrooke. Why would they do this?"

"I don't know. We do have our town exterminator. Nice, quiet guy. What's his name? Declan Colonge. He doesn't appear to be here. But, I don't think he-"

"No, no one in town would do this," Emma said, "If they did they would lose everything."

"Maybe there are people that want to lose everything," Mary Margret said.

"I don't care who's doing it and why," Neal said, "Let's just get them before they leave with our kids."

"Right!" Emma said and raced out to get her car.

When she got outside she couldn't believe what she saw. It was like a scene from a panicked town evacuation if the people were drunken idiots. People were arguing and almost fighting. David had to rush into break up a fight. The road was all blocked up with cars and no one could go anywhere. This wouldn't be happening if that stupid couple hadn't convinced Ruby to have a club night.

Emma froze with realization. She headed back towards Granny's Diner where she found Faith Pratt sitting alone. William Pratt was gone. Everyone was scrambling terrified about what was happening to the children. Meanwhile, this woman was looking out the window at a booth with a phone in her hand and a piece of apple pie under her Mila Kunis-like face. Emma was done. She smacked the phone out of the woman's hand.

"What are you doing?" Emma demanded.

"Being harassed by local law enforcement even though they have better things to do," Faith Pratt said, "Like teaching your small town kids basic stranger-danger skills."

"Look," Emma said, "I don't know what magik you used to charm all these people into thinking you're something more than some con artist, but it isn't working on me. I'm The Chosen One and I have powers that you can't even begin to imagine and if you and that sleaze ball think you can take our kids I will rip—"

"Whoa," Faith Pratt said, "I barely know what to do with one kid let alone a bunch, and the only charm I have is liquor and a big mouth. These people really needed to find the fun. It's like they've been stuck in this battle that has nothing to do with them that they have no control over. Just one word of advice though, be careful throwing around that Chosen One thing it—"

Emma hit her in the face closed-handed.

"Where's my kid, bitch!"

"Ow," Faith Pratt said, "You hit like a Boston girl, but still a girl."

Emma was expecting the other woman to be more shocked or hurt. Instead she just adjusted her perfect chin on her heart-shaped face.

"I grew up in The Foster Care System there," Emma said, "You don't wanna fuck with me."

"I knew I didn't like you for a reason," she said, "Maybe we fought over a snack once. I thought you were Snow White's daughter. She wouldn't approve of the language."

"I'm no one's daughter but I'll kill you if you hurt my son," Emma said, "Where is he? Where's your sad excuse for a husband?"

She had hit Faith Pratt in the face twice on her third swing the other woman grabbed her fist. Emma glared at her with surprise and suspicion as it looked like she was not at all affected from being punched three times. She only had a small cut on her full pouty lip.

"Emma," a woman's voice pleaded, "Stop it!"

"Mary Margret!" Emma gasped, "Why aren't you out looking for Henry?"

"I went to get help," she said, "and then I wanted to check on my daughter."

She sounded heart-broken but Emma couldn't focus on that because she had to deal with who Mary Margret brought in.

"It seems like that was a good thing too. You don't want a family of black hearts," Gold said and smiled.

"How is he going to help?" Emma said.

"I—I don't know, but we have to figure out who is doing this and why," Mary Margret began.

"Or why now," Gold said and looked at Faith Pratt, "So, someone has gotten our Chosen One all upset. I heard there was another new girl in town but unlike our Emma she has a devoted beast."

"Oh, c'mon!" Emma said, "Can we all just stop. It's her! It's him! The guy is named 'Spike,' for crying out load, and he's gone all of a sudden. She's here being used as the charming bimbo to distract us as he, and their partner, take off with the goods. It's classic. Only now the goods are our kids and—"

"Spike and I were here the whole night," Faith said.

"Yeah, that's why I said you had a partner," Emma said, "Who 'Spike' clearly went to meet."

"That doesn't even make any sense if we were gonna kidnap the kids wouldn't we all be gone," Faith said.

"Maybe he left you here to take the fall," Emma said.

"You're a terrible cop," Faith said.

"At least I'm not a terrible person."

"Really? Hitting a mother? Accusing her of being some Black Widow?"

"Just because you're a mother that doesn't mean you're a good person."

"Emma, dear—" Gold began and Emma was glad when Faith cut him off.

"No kidding," Faith said and sighed, "Look, Spike left on the bike the minute someone said the kids were heading north. He's going to cut the van off and get all the kids and probably kick the ass of whoever was trying to take them."

"He told you that?" Mary Margret asked.

"No," Faith said, "We didn't need to have a conversation about it and play detective, while working out our issues, and then run around with our head's up our asses because we're professionals. I know that's where he went and he'll be back with your kids any minute."

Gold laughed. Emma noticed Faith Pratt glanced at Gold and didn't seem to recognize him, but she seemed to know he wasn't just some middle aged guy. Emma could sense this, and she could also sense that Faith was telling the truth. But, for the first time Emma felt she couldn't be so sure.

"Mom!" Emma heard.

"Mom, I was with Eva and Nick and Pinocchio. They say 'hi'," It was such a sweet sound.

"Henry!" Emma bolted from the booth and had her arms around him.

She saw that Neal was there with his hands awkwardly in his pockets.

"He said that Spike stopped the van," Neal said, "Wasn't he just here? It-it should have been me. I can't even save my own kid."

"The fact that you can't always do that but want to must mean you're a dad," Faith said.

"Isn't this so sweet," she heard Gold say as she embraced Henry, "But you all still have a rat to catch."

"What are you talking about, dad?" Neal demanded.

Emma didn't care. She just cared about Henry.

"Henry, what happened? You got into a van in the middle of the night with a stranger who wanted to take you out of town? What were you thinking?"

"I—I don't know. I don't remember going to the van I was just there. He was really nice," Henry said.

"Henry, strangers can seem really nice but can be evil. You know that!" she said.

"Of course," Henry said, but sometimes strangers turn out to be people you know, or friends

Emma couldn't help but think that Faith Pratt was right. Her son was a small town naïve kid.

"Like Spike and this man?" Emma asked Henry, "Were they friends? Did it seemed like they knew each other?"

"No, Spike made Mr. C stop the van and he seemed mad. I didn't really know why. Mr. C was just being nice. But, it was weird now that I think about it. It felt like it was so much fun, and that no one would mind, but—but everyone would mind, and the rest of kids would lose their memories!" Henry stopped and shook his head; "There's no way that's okay. That had to be magik. Who would do that?"

"Thank god!" Emma said, "I mean not—I'm just glad you know better than to go off with a stranger."

"But he wasn't a stranger," Henry said and looked at Mary Margret, "It was Mr. C, Mr. Colonge. You know, Mary Margret. The guy who came to our school when we had rats."

"He always seemed so nice and quiet," Mary Margret said.

"It's always the quiet ones," Gold said.

"No, not always," Neal said, "In fact sometimes not at all. What do you know dad?"

"Who me?" Gold said and smirked.

"Listen, old man!" Mary Margret said and backed Gold up against the wall, "If you knew there was some kind of pervert here among the children and you did nothing I don't care if you're my grandson's grandfather I will—Oh, I—I'm so sorry, Mr. Gold. I—"

"Mary Margret, what's wrong with you?" Henry asked, "You don't think Mr. Colonge did the magik? That he would have really hurt us? Like kill us or…what? Why would he do that? Faith, why is your mouth bleeding?"

Emma didn't like the look on Henry's face. Maybe she wanted him to be naïve in some ways. Just in that moment Ruby came over.

"Henry," she said, "Why don't you come over with Eva, Nick, and Pinocchio and have hot chocolate."

"It's okay, Henry," Emma said, "I think the grownups should talk for a sec."

Henry went with her.

"You're over-protectin' that kid," Faith Pratt said.

"You have no idea what you're talking about!" Emma said.

"Oh, I thought I was the evil kidnapper," she said as she picked up her phone and only looked at it.

"But, it doesn't matter," Faith said again.

"It does to me," Neal said, "What do you know about this pervert Colonge guy, Dad?"

"It's not as bad as all that," Gold said and laughed a little, "Maybe it was a little worse. But, maybe I was the only one watching him and keeping him under control. None of you thought of that."

"Well, whatever you were doing clearly stopped working and my kid almost paid the price," Neal said.

"It doesn't matter," Faith Pratt repeated looking at her phone.

"I'm sorry, son," Gold said, "I have no idea why he would do this now. What he could get out of it. What he could want. In our world he took the souls of children and fed on them to keep his own child-like joy and wonderment. I don't what he could get with them here and how he would have that powerful magik to get them."

"It doesn't matter," Faith Pratt said again.

"You mean someone else has gotten a hold of powerful magik besides you or Regina," Emma said.

"If he did why would he be leaving?" Neal said.

"It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter!" Faith Pratt sang like a bored kid, "God, you people do love your Scooby gang time, but you don't listen. Spike saved the kids. He got the guy. He beat the shit out of him. He might have done you all a favor and killed what the guy owes people when you mess with your kids."

"You don't know any of that," Emma said.

"I know my man," Faith said.

"Well, then maybe I should arrest your man for murder."

Faith scoffed, "Arrest your mother with your plastic badge."

"You-" Emma began furiously.

"Ladies, please!" Neal said, "Not that watching you two go at it hasn't been tons of fun but can I just know for sure that this is over so I can know my kid is safe."

"Good luck with that, Aladdin," Faith Pratt said, "His adopted mom sounds like a psycho ice queen and your baby-mama wants to lie to him and arrest the only guy who's done anything tonight."

"No one is arresting anyone," Mary Margret said, "We just want to figure out what happened, Faith."

"'Faith'," Emma grumbled, "You're on a first name basis? You've known her five minutes."

Mary Margret gave Emma a glare she had never seen before. Maybe her heart was getting darker.

"I don't know why my frie—my daughter- is behaving so terribly towards you. I think it's because it's hard for her to believe people can reach out, or be in love in this world without ulterior motives. I guess I can't really blame her. She's had a hard life. I wasn't able to raise her and a girl needs her mother."

Emma noticed Faith Pratt looked up from her phone to look at Mary Margret.

"Everyone needs there mother," Neal said, but we don't always have her

Emma had to stop her mouth her hanging open.

"My girl needs her father, that's for sure," Faith said quietly.

She looked at her phone again. Emma wasn't so into making eye contact either.

"Look," she said, "Can I just talk to—talk to Spike so I can find out what happened for sure and see if our kids are still in danger."

"They won't be," Faith said, "At least not from that guy. As far as talking to him, get in line. He's not answering his phone, which is weird."

"I don't mean to upset you, Faith, but maybe Colonge won the fight," Neal said, "He'll wish he hadn't if he was trying to take my kid's soul."

Faith Pratt snickered. "Oh, you were serious. There's no way in Disney Hell that my man got taken down by some father goose perv."

"Now now," Gold said, "Let's be fair. Declan never had those proclivities. The only thing he ever cared about was getting the children's joy and charm. In fact, if I remember he rather fancied The Queen. He once took 12 children's souls and sold them for a chance to meet her."

"Doesn't sound pervy at all," Faith Pratt said.

"Yeah, Declan steals kids souls and has a thing for Regina," Emma said, "That doesn't sound dangerous. No need to mention that, Gold."

"You know," Gold said, "I've had a bit on my mind lately. Too much to remember every insignificant unsavory soul."

"Well, it's not like he's going to get anywhere with Regina," Mary Margret said, "She'd end anybody who hurt a child. Well, at least Henry."

"Oh, I get it," Faith Pratt said, "You keep The Ice Queen around to do your killing. That only works so long before you have to get your hands dirty. Besides, she doesn't seem so bright. She's convinced Spike is gonna hurt Henry."

"I don't keep Regina around to kill people!" Emma said, "She's not so—I mean, she—Why am I explaining myself to you? I'll tell you one thing she isn't stupid. She way more powerful than you think, and she would kill someone like your husband if she thought he'd hurt Henry."

"Hmm, I wonder why your tamed beast didn't come back with the children, dear," Gold said.

Emma didn't realize he was talking to Faith Pratt until she answered him.

"To do some 'R' rated violence on the perv," she said, "Why? If you're trying to hint at something I'm a little slow. But if you're saying that bitch has got my hands on her husband and you know something about it, my fists tend to speed my brain up."

"I'm just a man who knows the people around here very well," Gold said with a grin and his hands up

She jerked her mouth back in a sneer but before she could speak Henry walked back to them.

"Oh, Faith," Henry said, "Regina drove us back and she and Spike were going to talk for a while. She wanted to have a private talk with him and Mr. Colonge. I think she thought he was friends with Mr. Colonge like Emma did."

"Now my brain is telling me your other mom and I should have a private talk," Faith Pratt said, "Real private and quick."

She rose from the booth with a deadly look on her face. Great. Emma was going to have to protect Regina and get this chick's husband. Would this night never end?


	5. Chapter 5

_iRegina's plans are revealed. It has spikes! The thrilling conclusion with more Faith-y goodness coming VERY soon. Appreciate reviews./i _

"William The Bloody, I've been doing research on you. Reading the magik texts of this world," Regina said as she walked up to the vampire in chains.

"So, you've read real vampire wiki," the vampire said, "So 's every lonely Goth kid."

She took a silver needle and drew a horizontal line in the air. This made a small clean cut on the vampire's face inches away. The blood came through the air in drops and collected into her old silver poison ring that she had taken out for affect. The vampire wasn't affected. He barely seemed to notice the cut on his face or that his blood floated into her ring.

"Isn't doing gettin' my blood like that a bit soft for an evil queen. Don't you wanna feel the cut, hot lips?"

His face had already healed, as he looked dead at her with sharp slit blue eyes.

"You look a little older than your photo," she said.

She could play this game. Now she was in control and he had to know that. He was just playing stupid in his chains.

"Well, gotta keep ahead of the wife," he said, "But, this isn't about my rugged good looks, and if it is, you aren't our type. I'd consider it for the lips and the dom act but, the wife likes them fun an' wild not cold and power suit."

"You're repulsive," she said.

Regina really wished he would stop acting so smug, and stop talking about his wife.

"Stop flirting and tell me what this is about. You want me to kill the child molester?"

"I'm not a child molester," Mr. Colonge piped up from behind Regina, "I'm an exterminator. Would you like some rat blood, Mr. Pratt? It's fresh. Would you like a pillow? There's nothing like a new pillow when it's fluffed."

"No, thank you. I'm a bit old to fall for your tricks, Music Man. Nice to see some fairytales are the Grimm sort," the vampire said.

"You know who I am. You are as smart as they say," Colonge said, "But, I'm not what you think. None of us are. Just like you, sir. It's an honor to have you here. I admire that you gained the favor of more of your noble women, the hot babes with super powers, the greatest of which is your wife. So beautiful and strong, not damaged but beaten hard and then yielding where you want, like a pillow."

"Yeah," the vampire said to Colonge, "I'd say 'thanks' for all of that, but it got a bit creepy at the end."

"I didn't mean to offend you, Mr. Pratt," Colonge said

Regina could chastise Declan Colonge for talking to the vampire but she truly welcomed the break of having to spar with William The Bloody. She didn't much like speaking with Colonge either with his obsequies charm. Regina really didn't know whom she detested more. Was it Declan Colonge and his unassuming friendly tone of a soft-sell car salesman or the cutting obnoxious vampire that was truly a serial killer with groupies? Both were monsters with uses that she couldn't afford to give up.

"No offense. Just creepy like being chained in a house with horribly ugly forest wallpaper with a child murderer and a hack evil queen."

"You're the child murderer! I've read about the things you've done, orphanages, schools. What do you want with my Henry? Is it because he has _her_ blood in his veins?" Regina cracked.

She couldn't take it. These two man-like creatures were dancing around with words when they had done despicable things, and that she, Regina, had to be here with them.

"Is that what this is about, hot lips? Look, I'm the last one here that has an unhealthy obsession with the kid. Maybe you should be chainin' this one to the wall, since he was the one that had him in the back of a van. Better yet, look in the mirror, or have you had a tift with yours?"

Regina must have been standing there frozen with thought, or the act of trying to freeze her thoughts for longer than she realized.

"Are you all right, my queen?" Colonge asked his round angelic-like face and deep green eyes held true concern, or so it seemed.

"I'm fine!" she snapped.

"You know, my queen I would never harm your son. I just thought you might have liked to see him, since I was getting the others for you. I'll do anything you ask. There's no need for you to speak directly to my heart. It doesn't work with me because you've always had it, even when I had to give it to someone else," he said, "I know what it's like being forced to do the things we must, burdened with gifts. I could always get children to do whatever I desired. But that was never what I desired, but someone had to keep the village clean or we'd all have died."

"You—you had to sacrifice children for your village? I thought our world was easier for all the people I brought here."

"Oh no my queen, not for me. Not for a lot of people. I think more people are grateful to you than you know. I know I am."

"What did you do to get the children away?" Regina asked, "Are you sure it didn't harm them. Their souls?"

"I never harmed any child," Colonge said, "I just needed the children's help to get rid of the pestilence and rot."

He seemed so earnest until his lips curled around the words _pestilence and rot._

"Right," the vampire grumbled, "and I only needed 'a bit 'a blood from bosomy 16 year-olds to cure cancer," the vampire said, "I don't know what's going on here, what you'd want with those other kids, but I'll tell you one thing, lady: For a mum your instincts are way off. Tryin' to protect your kid from me and not him. Maybe mum instincts are only a thing you get when you birth a child, yeah?"

"You're not doing any better are you, Mr. Pratt?" Regina sneered, "When was the last time you called to check in on Caroline? Not since yesterday. She tried to call you today."

Regina angrily got out her Iphone and held it out to the vampire chained to the wall as if it were a cross. Why did she take so long to get one of these Iphone things? It was showing a video of a five year old girl with wild long golden-brown hair, big brown eyes, and a button nose. Regina didn't need to look at it. Not ever again.

_i"What are you doing, Cara Freddy?" said a woman's disembodied voice._

"_I'm tryin' to call, Daddy. Sometimes he loses his phone. Aunt Ken-"/i_

Regina shut it off. She wasn't going to listen to the little girl ask the woman why she had servants again. All-powerful people had servants. It was Regina's mistake not having them now. She finally had gotten to the vampire. The stiffened look on his face made that clear. She smiled.

"Bloody Facebook! I'll kill that warrior witch. I don't care how many powers she's absorbed from lickin' so much…" the vampire was muttering.

"So, now that—" Regina began when there was suddenly a large snapping clank.

"Ok, I'm right sick of this," the vampire said.

He had broken out of his chains extremely easily. But, that wasn't why Regina was frozen with fear. It was his face. His true face. It was a demon face with huge yellow eyes and horrible ridges. Demons were in this world too. Regina quickly used magic to push him back and bind him, but he fought off the spell so easily. It was as if she had tried to push him back physically because it was just as ineffective.

"Bit of information 'bout us Pratt's since you seem to want to get to know us so well," he said as he lumbered toward her, "Your average magik doesn't work on us so well, even your above average magik is touch and go. So, my girl is what this is about."

He moved with swift jerked movements towards Regina. But before Regina could realize what she was seeing the beast had his hands on Mr. Colonge. Mr. Colonge took out a cross and held it up to the vampire. Regina heard skin sizzling and felt a great relief. Perhaps she would give Declan Colonge a chance. Then, she saw that the vampire wrapped his hand around the cross of his own will to make his hand burn and he tossed it away.

"Wow," Colonge said in his folksy tone, "William the Bloody. I am really impressed."

"Why were you getting those children for her, Mr. Pied Piper? You know what, don't care."

Regina heard the sounds of bones snapping and screamed. She didn't know just what the vampire did to Colonge, but he lay broken on the floor, not moving.

"What, you'll miss him?" he smiled with his fanged face.

"Like you weren't planning on killing him with this," he said and reached in Regina's pocket as he gripped her shoulder.

Regina recoiled to feel his hand on her as the other went into her jacket pocket like he owned it. He got Mr. Colonge's heart out of her pocket and held it. It was still beating. It pulsed with red, but had a black core. She had worked so hard to get this heart.

"Now what would you want with the heart of a man like that? Did you think he'd get your boy back? Who do all the other hearts belong to? And most importantly why are you Facebook lurking my child? " he asked.

The vampire grabbed her by the back of the neck and shook her once. She let another cry of fear escape her. Her Iphone fell to the floor and he smashed it with an easy stomp. She had lost her baring's. She had never encountered a creature like this in her world. He had powers beyond her imagination. He knew about the hearts! The Hearts! All of them! He drop-kicked Mr. Colonge's heart across the room.

"'iOh, my how did he know about the hearts?/i'" he said mockingly and she wondered if he could read her mind.

"I heard them. Under the ground by the park," he said in her ear, "The hideous beating and all that, and speaking of hideous beatings. These aren't optional questions. You must answer them to complete the test. Why were you having the piper bring the children to you? Lot of trouble if you missed Hank when you could just pop over and see him? You want him all to yourself, don't you? And, what, you want my daughter? You were gonna try to sick the piper on her?"

The creature pulled her by the back of her neck and forced Regina backwards to stare into its yellow eyes.

"I wasn't using the pied piper for Henry. I don't want to force Henry to love me. I was using him to get to you," she said.

She had to push on the creature's chest to keep it away from her. She couldn't remember the last time she was so terrified.

"No kidding," he said, "I know that part now. A four-year-old could figure it out! You lured me here because you think I'm a threat. Now I'm the damsel in distress. Any minute my wife will come for me. This child molester thing was putting a damper on her vacation and a good rescue of me always cheers her up. I do love playing the helpless princess at times to keep the marriage fresh. Patients is just always an issue with me. That and threatening my kid. So, blah blah blah. You thought a vampire would be easier to control. You're in over your head. Blah, blah, blah. There are much easier ways to get ahold of me than to involve kids. What did you want those children? More importantly, and last time: What do you want with MY child? "

He moved forward to bite her.

"It's not your brat I want! I only showed that to you to frighten you into submission" Regina cried.

"Good plan," he said, "Not well thought out though. You better be able to convince me it's true."

"I—I didn't want any of the other children either. I—I wouldn't let them be hurt I—I just thought a bit of purity, pure innocence and love would help if…"

Regina stopped and thought. She really wouldn't have harmed the children, use them to her own end, not like she would this vampire. She just had to know if Declan Colonge still had that power and this had been an opportune time to test it.

"Not a good time to check out, hot lips," the vampire shook her and squeezed her, "If you wanted innocence and purity you've made a big mistake gettin' us Pratt's in-"

"I told you I don't give a rat's ass about your family," Regina said.

She felt herself become less terrified as she remembered what this was all for.

"I need your- I need that vampire Slayer's heart!" she said, "I thought she'd come for you too. Maybe she doesn't love you as much as you think and now she's at your diner party with someone else. We have a lot of interesting characters in town."

"Oh, please! Do I look like an insecure prom date? There's no prince charming or brave lion she'd rather have. We shared souls, literally. So, even if a tiny bit of our hearts go elsewhere at times it doesn't matter. Besides, it's not about how much she loves me. It's about how much I love her," he said and then added, "Something you don't get, yeah?"

"You think your soul makes you love? You still have no working heart. You're useless," Regina spat.

"You do have a thing with hearts," he said and tightened his grip on her until she let out a cry, "what exactly do you want with my love's?"

"It—it adds to my collection nicely," she said, "You can't have too much of a good thing."

"Oh, I think you can," he said, "In fact, I'm running out of goodness as we speak. The only reason you're not dead is it would upset the boy. But, I'm getting really bored and what I like even less than being stolen from is being lied to. WHY DO YOU WANT FAITH'S HEART?"

He yelled and then actually growled like an animal.

"My—my mother," Regina said, "Mary-Margret murdered her just when she got her heart back, when I got it back so she could love," she said "I need a strong heart with darkness in order to bring my mother back."

"You've got tons of hearts in there? None of 'em did it for you?" he said as his monstrous face seemed to look bemused.

"None of the hearts I have seen would be able to do, including my own. I needed a heart of someone like my mother who knows suffering that I have not."

Regina felt tears run down her face. It felt good to say it out loud. It almost felt good to die trying for mother.

"So, Faith has the mother's heart you've always wanted in your own," he said.

The vampire let her go roughly and she fell. She did the only thing she could do at the moment, which was to inch back toward Mr. Colonge's either dead or unconscious body lay with his large satchel. The vampire nodded. He tilted his head at her like he was an animal ready to eat her. Just when she thought he was going to lunge at her and do it his face made a noise. The noise of crunching bone.

"Good to know," he said and he was back to his sharp human face, "Maybe that'll bring her 'round to knowing she's a good mum. So, here's the plan. I'm gonna keep you alive 'till she gets here and you're gonna tell her how her heart was the only heart good enough in all the land for a mum. Also you're gonna tell me what the kids have to do with all this. The other ones you had him take."

Regina got to her feet and picked up Mr. Colonge's satchel and reached in and took out the one small object she could find, a cross. She was getting her baring's back.

"Stand back," she said, "I do have the power to hurt you."

"When will you learn I like the burn?" he said as he grabbed the cross and threw it away as his skin sizzled.

"It's not the burn that matters," she said shakily, "It's your blood."

"It's always about blood. So, what you had to steal mine for your hack magik? It doesn't appear to be working. I'm not very impressed with you, Maleficent," he said in his demonic face again, "You know my baby girl is scared of you in that cartoon. Wait 'till I tell her The Evil Queen was a sad bit of a thing, crying for her own mummy. Maybe I won't tell her that, might make her sad."

"Sometimes even children have to suffer," she said, "It will make her stronger. She'll need to be strong. How strong depends on you. Like I said, I have your blood, William the bloody," Regina said to the vampire.

Regina was getting used to this demon's face. She had faced other things like it in her time. She now stood with her back to the wall and the satchel firmly in her hand. She took out the metal object that looked like a spoon with a large pear handle with a spike on the end. She held her breath and hoped with this object she had leverage. It was a long shot, but he did talk a lot about his family, and love.

"Balls, it's always about the sodding blood. I knew I shouldn't a' let you take it," he said.

She saw the vampire's face fall back into human, surprised. He knew what it was she had, and he had something to lose. She had him. She smiled. He was just a sad little man as all men were.

"You know I'll kill—" he began.

"You'll kill me before I can use it? I think you know I'll use it before you can kill me," she said.

She poured the drops of his blood onto the skull carved end of the spoon.

"Okay, let's not get all side tracked about who can use what before who kills who. If you use that it's all gonna-" he began again in a humbled tone.

"Shut-up!" she yelled, "I've never had anyone I've faced talk so much. If that's what's common in this outside world I'm glad I've never truly been. Back up to the chains. If you make a move you'll be lost to feel love forever. That's all you care about, isn't it? After everything you've done! You're not a very ambitious thing, are you? Lucky for me, I am. I will have it all and you will have nothing, like you deserve, you monster."

The vampire did what he was told and backed up to the chains where he had snapped them. She bound them together mystically seven times with a wordless spell. That should hold him. The spell tired her but none of that mattered now.

"You don't know a monster, bitch," he said, "No matter what you do to me, if you hurt my girls. I will kill you. I promise."

"Are you really so thick? I told you, I'm not interested in your bratty daughter. Little girls are irritating. Boys are less selfish, and your wife will live. She just won't have a heart. Your daughter will be made stronger for it. I'm sure your whore will feel some for the girl, but nothing for you. Clearly you won't be able to take it. Who's pathetic now?"

"Uh, you still," he said, "You'd steal the heart of a little girl's mother just to have your poor excuse for a cold one back. I bet your heartless mother thought little girls were not worth the bother either. You think stealing my wife's heart is gonna change that? It won't be your mother's heart. It'll be Faith's. All the love Faith has for her child twisted to you with your mum's memories."

"No!" Regina yelled, "The heart is just an instrument. The love that it will feel from those memories would be real and—and I can control her if I wish with the heart, and—and one pure soul, but- but I won't need to. She will love me!"

The vampire in chains laughed at her.

"You say that angrily enough. That'll make it true," he drawled, "You can steal from the best all you want. But, you can't get back what you lost, hot lips."

"Good. Let's see how you are at losing this!" Regina spat.

She stabbed the laughing man in the chest with the spike that protruded out of the silver pear shaped handle. Then she dug into the wound with the spoon head. The spoon head looked literally like a silver head of a hooded skull. White light poured out of the screaming man. Regina only had to think of all the pain he had caused her and others and it was almost as if someone else was doing what she was doing. It was like magik. It was magik. The vampire screaming shouldn't bother her. He was just a monster, a beast that the vampire Slayer took up with for more power or opportunity. The Slayer had a heart that was like mother's after all, and mother couldn't be bothered loving men, let alone monsters. Not that Regina cared. Soon everything would fall into place and there would be no more pain for her or mother or anyone she cared for and was love worthy.


	6. Chapter 6

Your Mangled Heart, You Battered Love

iFaith faces off with Regina to get Spike back. As much as she hates it Emma knows she has to go along to protect this chick from Regina or is it vice versa? One more chapter after this. /i

"Listen,-Faith- it's not worth it," Emma said.

The woman's name stuck in Emma's throat as she tried to act like she knew this woman. Everyone else in StoryBrooke seemed to have a way easier time with that. They treated Faith Pratt and her husband William "Spike" Pratt like they were old friends. It didn't sit well with Emma. Now she was really trying to keep her temper in-check as the woman was ignoring her and trying to storm into Regina's house. Regina was the only other person that didn't seem friendly with the couple. They had reason to believe Regina had taken Spike captive because she thought he was a vampire that would harm Henry.

Emma really wished she could get back to dealing with her everyday life, which was trying to deal with Neal being in town and her kid's adopted mother being an evil queen that wanted a second, okay 4th, chance. Now this Faith Pratt was after Regina and Emma was the only one that could stop her. The woman's long dark hair was actually flying behind her as she grunted and kicked at Regina's house's protection. Apparently, Regina had put some kind of magik shield around it.

"Maybe you're still in your love 'em and leave 'em phase. I'm happy for you," Faith said, as she didn't bother to look at Emma.

"But, I'm done with mine. I've got my man, and if that bitch has done anything other than give him a tourist brochure to the state of Maine she'll pay," she said.

She ran up and kicked the protective shield so hard it rumbled like thunder.

"She'll pay hard," she said.

"No she won't," Emma sighed.

"She never does," Ruby echoed sourly. Emma shouldn't have let her come.

"Well, her luck's run out," Faith Pratt said.

"Luck has nothing to do with it," Emma said, "I don't know if you've been listening or if you think everyone is as full of it as you but Regina is a very powerful woman. It's not a joke. Magik is real. She is an evil witch. Look, I'm trying to help you. I can reason with Regina. Let me get your husband back."

"Clearly," Faith Pratt said as she looked up at the house, "You really haven't had a good lay in a long time, offering to get another girl's man. I go after my own. If you had someone you'd understand that."

The small and tight but curvy woman just glowered at the house like she was a tiger and it was keeping her from her prey. Emma noticed her cheesy tribal arm-band tattoo on her and wasn't at all surprised.

"The only thing I don't understand is stupid women like you who need some idiot guy to complete them. I do have someone, my kid," Emma said, "He's enough for me."

That would piss her off. Emma couldn't help but smile as Faith Pratt looked at her.

"Princess is in her love em' and leave em' phase. Hope you get some love to leave soon for your sake," Faith Pratt said plainly and then turned back to Regina's house.

"I don't need-I'm not a-" Emma began

What? No insults? Was that an insult? Emma expected Faith Pratt to run at her with fists with no husband to hold her back. Emma was hoping to show this woman she could fight too, maybe. Wow, this woman was throwing her off! She had to stay focused.

"You know who else has my kid as someone, Regina. Think about it from Regina's point of view," Emma said, "The kids go missing and she finds them with someone from town she knows and this guy she doesn't know or trust. Who's she to believe?"

"We don't really know if that's what happened," Ruby said, "All we know is that Spike is gone and last seen with Regina, a powerful evil witch."

"Ruby, you're not helping!" Emma said looking at the other woman, "and why did you bring that cross-bow?"

"Because I am helping," Ruby said as her blue eyes stared at the house, "I know Regina."

Ruby was wearing a hood. It wasn't red but brown. Her eyes seemed to almost be too bright in the night of only Regina's warm house glow. Ruby looked as steely but not as deadly as Faith. Emma had no idea why Ruby was so protective of these people she had known for several days. She didn't want to think too much about it. Maybe Emma had misjudged them, but it wasn't like Emma to misjudge so much. She could tell Faith especially was hiding things. She had criminal written all over her, but she had other things, like a kid back in Jamaica Plane, Boston. These people were complicated. Emma didn't like complicated. She had enough of it.

"I know Regina too and she wouldn't-Well, she isn't-Look, if you promise me you won't try to fight her or do anything crazy, I think I can get past this magik and into the house," Emma said.

"I don't have to promise you shit, princess," Faith Pratt said.

"Did I mention that I'm not going to respond to that nickname?" Emma said, "You aren't going to be able to get through the magik. I'm The Chosen One and sometimes I can do it. Why don't you guys just wait out here and I'll try to get in and we'll see. I've broken through Regina's spells a few times. I just have to focus. You really don't know who you're…"

Emma was surprise into silence because Faith Pratt jumped into to an invisible hole above Regina's door and disappeared. She was gone.

"…dealing with. What the hell?" Emma said, "What did she-a weakness. That's where a weakness in the spell is."

Emma realized, or sensed, the weakness in the spell to now.

"I can't get through it," Ruby said as she jumped where Faith had gone through only to hit up against a force.

"I—I don't know," Emma said, "I think maybe only a certain kind of person can get through it."

"Like a Chosen One. Make me feel left out why don't you?" Ruby said, "I guess she wants to handle it herself. I'm sure she can. Maybe we should go. It is a family matter."

"What? Ruby, she's likely to kill Regina. I can't let that happen. It's a family matter for me too, I guess. I'm going in," Emma said.

"Fine, but you're taking me," Ruby said.

"Ruby, what is the deal with you and these people? You don't know them," Emma said.

"Once upon a time I didn't know you mother or you and you guys are the best," Ruby said and her eyes misted, "But, you don't know what it's like to have your strength in darkness. He was supposed to die for her; he was determined to, and she wouldn't let him. It seems he can't be killed anyway. Imagine a man you can't kill even if he wants to die for you."

"Ruby, please don't tell me you don't believe his shtick that he's a vampire and she's a vampire killer," Emma said, "That's just a story he made up when Henry saw them boning in the woods."

"Emma, you know I'm a werewolf right?" Ruby said, "Maybe I just want a bite of something sexy I know will heal and go back to Boston in two weeks."

"Oh my God!" Emma couldn't help but laugh a little, "Don't say anymore, please."

"Look," Ruby said, "Chosen or not: Who do you think has a better chance of stopping her from hurting Regina you or me?"

#

When Emma and Ruby came into the house by tumbling to the floor they found Faith shouting.

"Queenie!" she said in a menacing tone, "If you think some sad protection spell is all it takes to stop me you've been livin' in the country too long."

Emma noticed Faith wasn't racing or raging through the house as she expected her to be. She was carefully searching the house. She ran her hand a long the forest wallpaper, which seemed weird but, maybe not. Emma didn't know why but it felt right, like something was in that wallpaper.

"Gotcha," Faith said and Emma saw her smile so wide it looked like she was up to no good.

That was when Regina came down the stairs. She looked off. She was wearing some kind of designer party dress she looked too old for. It was a spaghetti strapped violet taffeta gown with a slit leg and with a diamond pattern of flowers on the front. Ugh! But it wasn't just that.

"You're here," Regina said, "I've been waiting for you."

Regina went up to Faith Pratt like they were old friends. For a second Emma thought maybe it was some insane young girl pretending to be Regina. Had she been hit in the head? Was it something with magik? As she got closer Emma felt stupid for not realizing what it was.

"Regina?" Emma said, "Are you drunk? Sure, why should you be any different from anyone else tonight?"

"Regina," Ruby growled, "Give back the vampire. I know you have him. I can smell him better than the stink of your gin. This is no way to treat guests."

"You are beautiful even in these awful clothes," Regina said as she got dangerously close to Faith Pratt.

"I knew you'd have to look like her. So much like I remember when I was little."

"I wouldn't talk about awful clothes. If you're trying to crazy drunk you're way outta getting your ass kicked that doesn't work for my family let alone people who steal them," Faith Pratt said.

"Family," Regina whispered, "That's all I ever wanted, but she- you never did. Why? Why did you have one then? Was it just for power?"

Regina touched Faith Pratt's shoulder. Emma heard a pop.

"I wanted my family more than a dried up bitch like you ever wanted anything. I'd give up all the power I have just so they'd be safe. I did give it up, and that didn't work, mostly because evil bitches like you from other dimensions kept fucking with us. I've fought legions of you, lady, and I won," Faith Pratt said as she looked at Regina who had fallen to the ground.

Emma felt stupid again as it to her a minute to realize Faith Pratt had hit Regina. Popped her in the face. It was something Emma had wanted to do a million times, but…

"Ok, I can't pretend I didn't see that. Step away from her. She's clearly blitzed out of her mind," Emma said.

Regina touched her bleeding mouth and seemed to look up and the dark haired women pleadingly or like she was in awe. So much for worrying about Regina turning Faith Pratt into dust with power magik. That was a Regina face that Emma rarely saw. Faith Pratt showed no sign of retreat.

"I said," Emma took out her gun, "Step away from her."

"Emma—" Ruby objected.

Faith Pratt looked at Emma with her gun and grinned licked her lips and laughed.

"And I've fought blond chicks who acted like cops that thought they knew what was best. They were ten times The Chosen One she is."

"She's so stupid," Regina said, "She's seen everything and knows nothing. She was only ever Chosen for her royal blood."

Regina was still talking to Faith Pratt like they were old friends despite getting punched in the face by her. She rose to her feet. Emma rolled her eyes and put her gun away.

"A little late to try to get on my good side," Faith Pratt said.

"Regina, I am trying to help you. Maybe I should just let you get beat up. What the hell is going on?" Emma demanded of Faith Pratt, "Do you have some spell on you that makes people like you no matter how much of a bitch you are?"

"Why?" Faith Pratt smiled at her, "You want it? No, this bitch is crazy. Bunt from too much magik is my guess. I've seen it before. Can't say I care. But that'll keep her suffering enough as long as Spike is okay. Speaking of…"

Her graceful body with her low-cut short grey and black sweater seemed to slip into the grey and black forest wall-paper and she disappeared. She had dragged Regina behind her of course. Emma considered just leaving. What was the worst that could happen? This chick beats up Regina? Or Regina sobers up and does some magik on her, or maybe Regina already did magik on her smarmy husband who she thought was a vampire and…One of them would kill the other.

Emma sighed. She found the weakness in the wall and grabbed Ruby's hand who nodded and they went through. She did not like it. It felt like she was pushing herself through a dank air shaft when they were going through. Maybe that was because the place on the other side was just as dank. It looked like a labyrinth. There were walls and corners everywhere. It was covered with the grey and black forest wallpaper- walls, floor and ceiling. Emma didn't know where to look until...

"…is he you bitch?"- Faith Pratt.

Regina literally skidded across the floor and landed at Emma's feet. In that dress she was laughing like a drunken prom girl. She still smelled like one too. She must be too drunk to fight off Faith Pratt with magik. Emma didn't even want to think about how Faith Pratt was navigating her way around the magik. It wasn't because she was some vampire hunter.

"This isn't gonna get us anywhere. Let me find Spike. I can sniff him out," Ruby said.

Faith Pratt just nodded. She looked worried. Emma helped Regina off the ground. Ruby started sniffing the air.

"i_One heart red as rose and black as night; one soul pure as gold to make it right/i,_" Regina said to no one in particular.

"She's starting to remind me of my man's ex," Faith Pratt grumbled, "I've tried to kill that bitch twice. Crazy doesn't go down easy."

"Can you stop talking about killing people? I'd love to say it's been the weirdest night of my life," Emma said, "but it's just the longest."

"You think I'm having fun, princess?" Faith Pratt said, "You don't hear me whining and I'm the one who's missing someone. Missing someone because my someone went after who was missing for you, and I'm not hearing a 'thank you.' You really are a blond Chosen O-"

"Ruby," Emma said, "Can't you hurry up?"

"I'm working on it," Ruby said, "I just keep smelling something dead."

"Yeah, that's my man," Faith Pratt smiled, "Dead as a doornail with a sexy smile, remember?"

"No, I mean really dead," Ruby said.

"Regina," Emma began as she felt panic rise, "What did you—"

Emma stopped when she heard a crumbling sound. It was one of the forest wallpapered walls. Ruby had kicked it and it crumbled like paper machete. She dragged out a large crystal glass table.

"Oh my god!" Ruby said.

She said it because the crystal glass table had someone inside of it. This person was clearly dead, though well preserved in a beautiful white dress and flower crown. It was Regina's mother.

"Okay," Emma said, "Now, it's one of the weirdest nights of my life and that's saying—"

"I can do this," Regina said suddenly and shut her eyes, "I can. It's already done. You _are _my mother with this heart. I just have to get this heart into your right body, but it's sad we can't just put your soul in this one and turn back time. But, the heart is what can so easily be taken out of things, as well as what desperately needs to remain."

Regina was standing in front of Faith Pratt with her gasping nonsense speech. Emma wanted to feel annoyed by Regina's drunken slurring, but instead she felt completely uneasy. She felt it before she saw Regina's hand move to Faith Pratt's chest and into it.

"Regina! Stop!" Emma cried.

Regina had tears in her eyes as she looked at Faith, "You're little girl will still have most of you. She'll get by. I have. But now it's my turn to have my mother."

Faith Pratt couldn't speak as she had the pain of magik iced fingers reaching around her heart. Emma knew what it felt like, but Faith didn't have Emma's immunity to it.

"Regina if you do this there is no going back," Emma said, "Think of Henry."

"I am," Regina said, "It won't hurt much longer."

Maybe Faith didn't have Emma's immunity but, she did seem to have an ability to hit people. Faith punched Regina's still bloody mouth again and she fell back to the ground.

"You bitch!" Faith yelled, "You don't deserve to be that kid's mother or that kid's anything! I've heard all about you. You nothing but a sad rich bitch who's crying over her dead boyfriend and now your dead mother? Like we all don't have a few of those. Grow up."

"I am sorry," Regina said and she looked it.

Really? Was that all it took? This Faith Pratt, some boozing con-artist that knows how to throw a punch, gives Regina some harsh words about what an entitled little bitch she is, and Regina is sorry? Emma began to think she should have kicked Regina's ass a long time ago. Then, Regina sneered and gave Faith Pratt that dead evil-eye glower.

"Sorry, my mother's heart has to come from the body of a common whore who could only have child with a demon," she said.

Regina flew, literally, towards Faith Pratt who was pushed back into a wall wallpapered in forest. Only the forest trees seemed to come to life and come out of the wall. The branches twisted around Faith Pratt's hands and bound them.

"No!" Ruby yelled and shot her crossbow at Regina.

The arrow was a straight shot to her head but it bounced off Regina like there was a shield around her. It was as if almost trying to steal Faith's heart, or just touching it had given Regina more power. It wasn't like Emma's heart or like the ordinary hearts Regina took. Emma knew all this. She didn't know how but she did. Like she knew she could stop this somehow. She just had to think. Before Emma could think of what to do Regina had reached into Faith's chest again. Emma head the familiar dead thud as Regina yanked and nothing came. Then, Regina's hand flew out of Faith's chest empty. What? Whatever was happening Emma hadn't done it. Faith Pratt

"No! It can't be!" Regina yelled, "I could feel in my hand. I had it! I could feel the power, the love, the washed out black that still remained. I—I need that heart. It's not yours. You've wasted it on dead unnatural things. You're a murderous whore! This heart is my mother's!"

By the time Regina got to the end of her rant she chocked back a sob.

"Kinda doing a pot-kettle-black thing, telling me I've wasted my heart on dead things, which you seem to realize. So, where's my dead thing?" Faith had Regina forearms.

Emma saw that Faith's hands were making Regina dirty. The dress had torn, and this was the first time Emma had ever seen Regina's make-up run. Emma knew somehow that Faith Pratt could kill Regina easily now as Regina had spent her magik and whatever force was in Faith was weakened but still stronger than Regina. Emma couldn't help but think one word: Good.

"I'll never let you have him," Regina said laughed ominously, "Or maybe I will."

"Behind this wall!" Ruby said her eyes brightening.

Suddenly, there was a wall that was made of white stone and not the forest wallpaper. It looked like it held a room on the other side of it. Emma was glad for it. The endless walls of dismal forest wallpaper were giving her a headache.

"There must be a passage way," Emma said, "Regina, I'm only going to ask you—"

Before Emma could finish the stone was crumbling because Faith Pratt was punching and kicking it in. This was different then the other wall that weak to hide Regina's mother's body. It was real stone. Okay, so this chick could hit people and walls. She can fight magik and her heart couldn't be taken. Emma still didn't like her.

Faith had punched through the wall. It looked like a dungeon. Great, Regina had a dungeon. Emma saw the British guy chained up there in his tight white thermal shirt and jean-jacket. She couldn't help but think he had a body like Neal's. She put that out of her mind. He looked a little worse for wear. His shirt had a blood stain on his stomach. But, he was grinning as if he had been a kid playing hide-n-seek and she found him. Oh, thank god! This was over.

"Hi, honey," Faith Pratt drawled, putting on the causal.

"Hi baby," he returned it, "So, did the evil cunt-ness try to rip out your heart when you got here?"

"Yep, that's a first. It's kinda like having a sore ass from a new workout. If you never knew how much you used your ass every second until someone tries to rip it out."

"No one better touch that ass but me, unless I get to watch," he said and then gave an obvious glance over to Ruby who smiled.

Ugh! Emma couldn't get these people out of here fast enough. She promised she wouldn't look down on Ruby after this. People had a right to their taste. No matter how bad it was. Faith Pratt walked slowly over to her husband like she was on her own schedule. More put-on casualness. Her eyes were as big as two huge amber stones with black dots only centered on him. She loved him. It hurt her to see him this way. It was obvious, even if she had fought all the battles she said she did. Maybe she wasn't such a good con-artist after all.

"So, did having a woman inside you pulling at your heart make ya love me more?" he asked and stuck out his tongue and slid it back in.

"Piss off," she murmured, a Brit expression stolen from him, no doubt.

He was a better at pulling of the I'm-too-cool-to-care-that-I'm-chained-in-a-dungeon -affect. Emma could tell even Faith Pratt found his last comment a bit much. She stopped trying to get the chains off of him for a brief second and she seemed to actually blush.

"Yeah, yeah. You're so hard. I knew she could never take your heart 'cause its claimed. Speaking of hard, tell me, did it bring you to your knees when she did it 'cause I could use that right about now," he said.

Emma noticed that Faith just seemed to think that comment was funny while the one about love was too crude for her.

"Hold still," Faith said as she was trying to work on the chains.

"No," he said and tried to kiss her with a full open mouth. Ugh!

"Maybe I'll just leave you like this," she said.

"Am I supposed to object to that?" he said as he jumped up and down in the chains lightly, "Maybe Ruby can help you out."

"Spike, god," Ruby said "Are you drunk too? You smell different."

"Just a little more feral. But, I don't want to startle ya," he said, "or the dye-job from Boston. What big eyes she has."

Emma had more than enough. She wasn't going to pay any attention to him.

"Regina you must know how to unlock them," Emma said, "I'll—"

"Yes, let me unlock him," Regina said ,"and then what?"

Emma hadn't realized Regina was right near them. Now Regina looked weird in yet a new way. She was no longer drunk on liquor or magik. But, she still looked like she wasn't herself, or she was watching this all from far away. Emma wished she was.

"Then we're going to have a little chat down at the station, Regina" Emma said to her.

"Way to be tough on crime, princess," Faith Pratt said, "Aren't you keeping up? I know Boston Public wasn't that great, but the bitch took my husband and chained him in a basement without safe words. Then she tried to rip my freakin' heart out of my chest to put it into her dead mother's body who she's hoarding like Norman Bates. She's not redeeming herself anytime soon."

"And, you only covered what she's done for tonight, and you're people she doesn't even know. What is she going to do to people she has beef with if she's doing this?" Ruby said.

"Ruby—" Emma began, even though she really didn't know what she was going to say.

"Maybe I won't have to do anything at all," Regina said with that same eerie blank look on her face.

She was unchaining Spike Pratt magically from across the room, but Emma still sensed her magik was weak from trying to take Faith Pratt's heart. Why was she doing that?

"Oh, and she did do one more thing," Spike said, "Bitch has my soul."

His faced changed into an ugly demon's again and he snarled. Emma backed up. She couldn't help it, but she had it with his theatrics. She got it. She had been wrong. He was a vampire. Big deal. He looked like one of the lost boys circa 1989. Emma had seen giants and ogres.

"Oh, well," Faith said to him, "This vaca is filled with new ones for us. So, what are you gonna do? You know I can't let you kill any of these town goobers, at least not the pretty ones."

Now what were they going on about? Faith Pratt walked up to her husband. Her whole face had changed too. Thankfully it was still human, but she looked tense, threatened and ready to hit him despite her casual comments.

"You think that's the first thing I wanna do?"

He looked at no one but her with yellow demon eyes. She looked like she was trying to stare through him with her big round brown eyes and set hard face. The couple just kept staring at each other not moving. They looked like animals waiting to pounce or lovers who were sizing up each other after they caught each other cheating.

"Yeah, I do," she said, "Ruby run. Get out of here and take the princess with you. You can do what you want with the bitch."

"What? I—" Ruby began.

"Do it, Ruby!" Faith said, "Spike's lost his red cloak. He's all beast. Only his can talk just like okay?"

"Listen to The Slayer, red. She knows me," the vampire said casually.

What were they talking about? What the hell did all that mean?

"What the hell—" Emma began she gripped the hostler of her gun.

"You want Ruby to run because you want the rush of the chase, and the rush of me chasing after you to save her," Faith Pratt said to him.

Her grin was haughty and melancholy all at once. Neither of them took their eyes off the other. Something was growling. It was a guttural inhuman sound. It was him. Oh great.

"She knows me pretty well," the vampire said.

His fanged grin was all giddy. He tilted his head to stare at Faith Pratt. He began to circle her with stiff jocular movements that were so different from his languid ones before.

"Try too well. I can take you down easy," Faith Pratt said.

She started to circle too. What was this? What had he said? Emma had been trying to block his blabbing out. Regina took something. It wasn't his heart. It must be his conscious.

"But of course she still trips her self up in the same ol' way," he said, "She doesn't realize I how well I know her, and that she still loves me. Soul or not were still soul-mates."

"Kind of like saying you can still fuck me without a dick," she said, "which I guess you can and have. So yeah, of course I still love you. For better or for worse, whatever that means."

Emma heard another pop and this time she realized Faith Pratt had hit her husband hard in the face.

"Just because I love you doesn't mean I'll let you do whatever you want," she said, "Learned that in parenting 101."

Great. Regina took his soul. What the hell did that mean?

"And it's because I love you and I indeed still have a dick and bigger balls than ever that I'm through holding back," he said and Emma heard another hit, "I'm gonna give you everything your heart wants."

"Haven't felt that in years," Faith Pratt said, "I'm not into it as much as I used to be."

Did he just hit her in the face? Oh hell no.

"Regina what did you do?" Ruby demanded angrily.

"I'd love it if you waited around to see," Regina said with that smirk.

"No," Emma said, "this ends now. Put your hands where I can see them, Mr. Pratt or I will shoot you in dead."

If there was one thing Emma didn't put up with it was wife-beaters. She had brought in more than her share. She raised her gun. This time she was ready to use it if she had to.


	7. Chapter 7

Done Reading- _a/n: More Crossover fun and Tortured Regina, Annoyed Emma, Sexy Ruby, soulless Spike, Spaithness, One little conclusion chapter after this. DISCLAIMER._

"You'll shoot me inconvenient, and I'm not gonna hurt her. I love her. You think she can't take a punch? You don't understand what we got goin' on here, princess," Spike Pratt grinned at Emma's gun.

She had drawn it because he hit his wife Faith Pratt. It didn't matter that the wife hit him first and he was a vampire that Regina captured and did something to; or that Emma found his wife more annoying then him. There was right and wrong.

"Like I've never heard that from an abusive husband before and don't call me that," Emma said.

"You may have a point, and I guess if I said 'This time it's true,' I'd just sound as bad as them," he said, "So, it's good I don't care."

Before Emma knew it William Pratt grabbed Faith Pratt and held her against him. Faith Pratt grunted at the grab, but other than that she was silent. He had her back to his chest. Emma saw Faith Pratt chest stop heaving and her eyes shut as he licked up her neck and kept his eyes on Emma. Whatever was going on here reached a new level of sleaze. Regina just stood their grinning and Ruby was silent with her crossbow no longer ready.

"I'm just puttin' her back against the wall 'cause that's how she fights best and my girl needs to fight to be happy. She's only at peace when she has something to fight against," he said.

Emma saw a flash of movement and all of a sudden William Pratt was on his back as Faith Pratt stood over him.

"Yeah, I'm freakin' Gandhi with something to fight against," she said.

Had she just flipped him over her head? Emma would be impressed if she didn't want this over so badly.

"Good on you, Slayer," the vampire said, "Now, let's dance."

He jumped up. He had still had that stiff pumped up swagger.

"My boogie shoes are on. So, you don't wanna kill me. Is it 'cause you did the marry and fuck thing with me first?" she said as she kicked him in the face.

"Or is it just because I'm too old to kill?"

Did this woman sound hurt that her husband wouldn't kill her? Forget trolls and Neal being Gold's son this was some crazy shit.

"Baby," he said "If I didn't know you and I saw you in the morning without make-up after a hard night, I'd come at you with nothing but the rush of death on my mind. I'd want you so much that I wouldn't be able to think because the rush of blood would boil my brain. I'd want you so bad, but I'd know I could never have you that I'd have to dance with you until one of us was dead. A'right?"

"And now that you know me?" she asked.

"Now that I know you the first thing I want to do with my new lost soul is pound you into these tacky white walls with my cock until you believe I love you, but-"

Faith Pratt dove and the vampire and, they started making out.

"You gotta be kidding me," Emma said

She was done. Done with these people and whatever twisted shit they had going on. She was on her way to find the crack in the wall to leave with Ruby when she heard their lips smack apart.

But-" he continued, "Now I want to make your darkest dreams come true."

"I know I'm not the best mom in the world but I'm not bad enough to take a rush ticket out of a life and leave my kid with her murdering soulless father and no matter what you think I'm not into choke sex," Faith Pratt said.

"Good to know," he said, "I'm not talking about the darkness in your heart and the Slayer Death Wish," the vampire said, "I'm talking about life, survival of the fittest, kill or be killed, sweet vengeance. I'm talking about her."

He grabbed Regina so swiftly Emma hadn't even seen him do it. Regina yelped. Emma was actually not unhappy to hear it. It meant that Regina wasn't in some eerie removed place and she wasn't smug either. She was afraid like a normal person. Not that any of this was normal. Emma should be used to that by now, but this was a new abnormal she had no idea what to do with.

"Oh, her," Faith Pratt grinned now all fear and seriousness gone since sucking face with the psycho.

"She found a video of our baby that rich bitch dyk—Kennedy, Our lovely Xena warrior babysitter Kennedy, posted on sodding Facebook," he said.

"Oh," Faith Pratt said, "That's over the line. Take your soul, try to take my heart, whatevs, but internet stalking my kid. No."

What? Regina was watching their kid? Emma knew there had to be a reason and that it wasn't good.

"Who knows what she was planning?" he said still grinning in fangs, "Then again who cares? The only question is: How much do you want me to make her suffer? What do you want me to do to her?"

Regina let out a cry of objection. Ruby was silent. Emma was too busy thinking about what to do next to engage in this.

"I dunno," Faith Pratt drawled and walked up so close to the vampire to talk seductively in his ear while he held Regina by the back of the neck.

"I kinda wanna know what she was planning," she said, "Let's get it out of her."

"If all we get out of her is blood and screams before I kill her it won't matter what she was planning," Spike Pratt said.

"I love the way you think," she said, "But, I gotta know what she wants with C. Fred, and come to think of it, your soul. It's the mother in me."

"You are the best mum of them all you know," he said.

Then she kissed him fangs and all. It made Emma a little gag-y. The vampire got so into kissing his wife he dropped Regina. It was Ruby who pulled Regina away and held a finger to her lips. Emma noticed Ruby was holding Regina as almost as roughly as the vampire and Emma didn't mind.

"Let's get out of here," Emma whispered.

Emma located the magik weakness in the wall and she couldn't be more relieved. She was pretty sure the couple were about to do it on the floor of Regina's labyrinth.

"This is my house. I'm not leaving," Regina spat out, "Vampires are supposed to kill whom they loved first when they lose their souls. What is wrong with you?"

Shit! Emma had almost gotten them to the crack in the wall. Emma knew she was still going to have a whole lot to figure out once they got out of here, but had really wanted to get away from these people for now. But now, Faith Pratt was storming up to Regina, who seemed to have a death wish tonight.

"So that was your plan," Faith Pratt said, "Why you took out his soul? You wanted to watch us kill each other and then what?"

"She probably was going to try for your heart again. When you were dead or weak," Ruby said, "But—"

"But Spike's soulless love is ten times better than what you were expecting. Ten times better than the selfish love you have for your mother or that kid," Faith Pratt said, "So, the question is: How selfish is my love? Do I want to slaughter your ass because you've screwed him to a soulless life? Right now it's really looking like a yes."

"She didn't—" the vampire began.

"I can't let you do that," Emma said and she concentrated with her mind and a

force-field came around Regina.

Wow, she did it. It made Faith fall back. Spike helped his wife up from the ground before Emma could think of keeping the gun on him.

"Great! Now you get your magik on," Faith said, "Do you think that will stop me? You're just as bad as she is."

"What?" Emma balked.

"'The I'm-too-good-for-killing-because-I'm-so pure-and-noble. The only way you can stay that way is in Fairy Tale Land. You and your mom and your hunky corn-fed father have to man up and face facts. You gotta take this bitch down. Like I told your mom: You're in a war. And because you decided you're too good for it people have died, lives have been destroyed- like mine."

"She has a point," Ruby said.

"Ruby!" Emma gasped.

"Not about you being selfish but about Regina," Ruby said.

"Listen—" Spike Pratt began.

"For someone who's life is destroyed you seem to be doing fine to me. You've turned my house, my town into your own personal adult playground." Regina said.

She had a point, but Emma kept her mouth shut. She knew she had to deal with Regina somehow, and she would figure out how once she got these people out of here.

"If you open you mouth to me again. I will pull your heart out through your mouth and it won't be magikical," Faith Pratt said.

"I'm sure your soul is already twisted and busted," she continued, "It takes one to spot one. But his—his was great. The best thing I've ever had inside of me. It saved me when I had a demon in me bigger than you could imagine. His soul made half my kid, and it kept us together when worlds wanted to tear us apart. And now that awesome soul is gone. We aren't in your Disneyland where the villain just faded away, lady. I'm from Boston, the bad part of it, where we get heads on sticks. I've made up my mind. You're dead, lady. You won't always have your frienemy around to protect you and I can get past your shit magik."

Faith Pratt's eyes misted.

"Hon—" the vampire opened his mouth.

"I don't know your story but it sounds like you're in no place to judge anyone and this is my fight, my town, not yours!" Emma said, "I grew up in Boston too, and one thing I'd never do is kill a mother over a guy because his mojo got taken and he can't screw me right anymore."

"Wait," Spike Pratt said.

"Princess, that is so not the problem," Faith said, "The world is what's fucked with his soul gone, and my daughter. I know you think the world revolves around you and this town and that we're low-lives and maybe half the time you're right, but the other half we're The freakin' Incredibles who save the world and there's no way I can do that on my ow-"

"Ladies, let me speak!" Spike yelled or growled really in that vampire face.

It made Emma jump back and she was angry about it.

"Spike, we can still be soulmates even without the soul but I'm not B. I can't keep you in check all the time. I know I'm gonna fuck it-"

"Oiy! Scary soulless thing speaking here," he went on "if you let me get a word in edgewise. You don't have to kill the witch to get what you want. Bloody hell, I'll say one thing Buffy let me talk more when I was evil and she'd be right done with this situation by now. You—you always gotta stop and give all this attention to everyone and their mother. For the supposed dark Slayer you poke around way too much. I've been trying to tell you—"

"I know who the better Slayer is Spike. I don't-" Faith began,

"That's not what I meant and you bloody know it!" he growled.

He had Faith by her arms and he was shaking her hard. It made Emma think of days of bad Foster homes gone by.

"How many times do I have to tell you she is not better than you," he said, "The only one—Ow! Do you mind?"

Emma winged him in the shoulder with her gun and all he did was look at her angrily as he kept ahold of Faith's arms. Then he turned back to Faith.

"Oh, oh, I hurt you're feelings with what I said about Buffy, and I—I'm hurting you I was just—just –Sorry. I'm a rude bad man, baby really. This is why I need that soul, yeah? 'Cause I'd hurt you without it. I hurt you no matter how hard I try," he sounded like an upset little kid as he shrank down to his knees and his hands sank down to hold Faith's.

"It's not me I care about," she said.

"Why?" he growled getting up and grabbing her again "Why don't you care about yourself? You should bloody care about yourself! Why do you always-I'm doing it again."

Spike Pratt let his wife go. He was trying to force himself to stay calm.

"It's not you're fault. I can handle it. But, you know you can't be around Cara alone like this," she said.

"That's not true. I wouldn't hurt her. I'd just—"

"Fuck it up. Bad," she said.

"So, losing a soul makes you an asshole prone to domestic violence?" Emma said, "But, it makes most vampires kill their families and that was what Regina was hoping you'd do so she'd get Faith's heart. You're like this because of Regina has your soul and you have a five-year-old at home. Give it back, Regina!"

"Wow," Faith said, "Is she always this slow?"

"Give Emma a break," Ruby said, "How would you feel if you found out your parents were Snow White and her Prince, but an evil queen took them away and then adopted your baby you had to give up after growing up as a foster kid."

Emma admitted to herself she hadn't been thinking about what she was hearing until they really started to talk about the kid.

"Ecstatic," Faith said, "My mom would be a lot more alive and sober, and I'd know just who to kill. Instead, I'm a vampire Slayer married to a vampire who found out his soul is gone, and I have to raise my baby on guard. I live in a world where you can't just give things like souls back without a major price. So, I'm pissed."

There doesn't have to be a major price if there happens to be a few powerful witches around and if," Spike Pratt said, "one of them is a bitch still has my soul."

"What?" Faith began slapping her husband everywhere but the face, "She still has it? Like she can just but it back! And you didn't tell me!"

"Ow! I have been trying to tell you for 30 bloody minutes. You just won't shut-up. You won't bloody, Ow!" he was trying to duck away from her blows but then he grabbed her face and roughly kissed her.

"You drive me crazy, still," he said.

They began making out and not in a sweet fairytale fashion, but throwing their bodies around.

"Okay, I'm done!" Emma said, "I feel like a chaperone at a juvenile delinquent high school dance. I'm shooting and pouring a bucket of ice on both you if you don't stop and resolve this mess."

"Maybe we should just leave them alone," Ruby said with a smile.

"Leave them alone?" Emma said, "He's a maniac that wants to eat us and everyone else!"

"Haven't you been listening?" Ruby said, "He loves her. He isn't going to hurt anyone. She wouldn't want him to."

"Um, I think it's you who isn't listening," Emma said, "She's the one who wants to kill Regina."

Emma looked at Regina who was just sitting there looking wistfully at the vampire and the vampire Slayer playing tonsil hockey. Faith Pratt noisily broke away from her husbands lips.

"Look," Faith Pratt said, "I won't kill the hag if she can put Spike's soul back."

"Really," Spike said, "but wouldn't it be fun? You could take her clothes. I could take her blood."

Faith Pratt actually looked offended.

"Like I'd want her clothes," she said, "Maybe her lipstick."

"Well, of course I'd take her blood and take you in her clothes, as we did an 80s power-suit role-play or a prom queen role-play in that dress."

"A prom queen that needs a spanking wearing that dress," Ruby said.

Spike Pratt actually looked at Ruby and then his wife and licked his lips.

"We need the lipstick," he said, "Definitely the lipstick here in this house. Think of all the people we'd be avenging, lives we may be saving?"

Faith Pratt seemed to consider this as Emma watched. Why wasn't Regina springing to her feet and saying something insulting and threatening to never give the soul back? Emma knew the vampire was telling the truth, he'd do it all, but she knew now that Faith Pratt wasn't. Emma could finally read her and the woman wasn't going to kill Regina. Faith Pratt was enjoying scaring Regina but, she just wanted all of her husband back. The one Emma couldn't read now was Regina who just sat there.

"Vengence and me don't end up in good places, and the princess ex-con soccer mom cop seems to have it under control," Faith said and stood in front of Regina, "Just give Spike his soul."

"Can't blame a bloke for trying," Spike said, "I hope it doesn't burn again."

"Don't be a ba—" Faith Pratt began but she was stopped by the sound of Regina screaming

She ran up the vampire Slayer who seemed ready to take on the attack, but there was none.

"No!" Regina said, "Why do you think I unchained your stupid monster? If he isn't man enough you do it! Do it! Kill me! I'm no good. I thought I killed my mother and all I wanted was to have her back, to have a heart, to have her love me because I know she never really did. I had love once but no one could love me with my heart as it is now! I can't imagine the state of my soul. And all I do is try to love Henry and it doesn't work. I'm not doing it right. So, just kill me. Just end it. I know my heart is black, too black. If the vampire does it no one will suffer he doesn't need a heart to love, but I do and it's ruined."

She collapsed in tears. Emma put her gun back in her holster.

"Regina," was all Emma could say.

There was a few beats of silence accept for Regina's sobs.

"Well, I could do it," Spike said.

"Shut-up, Spike!" Faith said and she smacked him upside the head.

"Ow! What? If she's gonna whine about it," he said.

"She is gonna be able to pull her shit together and put his soul back, right?" Faith asked Emma, "I'll give her 20 minutes. These 'Please-kill-me-I'm-evil-breakdowns' take about 20 minutes."

Emma was glad not to have to give an answer.

"Give her the night," Spike Pratt said and when Emma looked at him he put his hands up.

His slivered almond blue eyes were filled with impishness and his sharp cheekbones could cut glass with that smile.

"I promise I won't hurt her or any sod in this god-awful town," he said, "The Slayer will keep me on a short leash, and how I would love to be on a chain by her side just long enough so I could get to her."

"You know I'd never hurt you like this," he turned to Faith Pratt again, "Even with every instinct in me telling me to, I wouldn't hurt you, because I don't need a soul to love you, and now I can prove it. I can prove it!"

He ended with a triumphant yell. Emma thought this didn't seem like a very good idea.

"No, you though," he wagged his finger at Ruby, "Don't trust myself around you, and I just want to be soulless and depraved with my wife. When it comes down to it I'm just an old-fashioned guy."

He turned back to Faith.

"Aren't I, baby? I only hurt you just as much as you—"

Emma heard a clanking and saw that Faith Pratt took one of the shackles and put it around the vampire's neck. His demon face came out again and he showed her his fangs. Emma was glad to see that this fellow Boston girl wasn't going to take any of that crap. Faith Pratt then pulled the chain so that the vampire's face was in hers and she kissed him. Seriously? Emma thought.

"Bitch has there hours," Faith Pratt said to Emma about Regina..

Then she gave a hushed squeal and laughed as the grinning vampire scooped her up in his arms while she still had the chain in her hands.

"Ruby give them my cell," she said with great authority as she peered over the vampire's back as he carried her off.

"I—We—I should go after them, right?" Emma asked Ruby who seemed to have knowing in her eyes.

"I mean, they are dangerous," Emma said, "They can hurt someone. He'll hurt her."

"Emma, I know you know when most people are lying, but you can't read people in love can you?" Ruby said.

"Why do you even care?" Regina spat, apparently done with her pity-party.

"I don't!" Emma said, "I mean, not about him hurting her if she's stupid enough to trust him. I just don't want him hurting other people or her hurting you. So, you are giving him his soul back."

"Again, why do you care?" Regina said.

Emma saw Ruby roll her eyes.

"What is wrong with you Regina? You can't want them to kill you, over your mother? Who never cared about you? What about Henry? It was just another one of your schemes, right? "

"What do you think?" Regina smiled.

Emma saw the smile was a lie. Regina had wanted to be killed by Spike or Faith, at least in that moment.

"I don't care what goes on in your sick head!" Ruby said to Regina as she bounded over to her, "You are giving Spike back his soul or you are dealing with me."

"Don't worry," Emma said, "She will. Spike is Henry's friend, Regina. I think he saved his life tonight."

"No, he didn't," Regina said.

Emma knew Regina was telling the truth, which only poised more questions that Emma knew she wouldn't get answered.

"But, I can't use the soul for anything. It means nothing to me either way. So, I might as well. Just to get them out of my town."

There was the lie. The soul did mean something to Regina, but she would give it back.

Emma looked to see that Regina's perfect thin black eye-liner was even smudged as she now was standing over her mother's glass coffin ruefully. Emma realized she'd rather just deal with an evil queen, out to destroy her and her family, while stealing her kid, who gets repentant and teary at times. Not that Emma could always read Regina, but she could keep up with her more than some hot chick Boston vampire slayer and her neo-punk vampire husband that were some cross between Sid and Nancy and The Incredibles.


End file.
